Susan Patton caused quite the controversy late last week when she penned an open letter to Princeton’s school newspaper. Patton, who is a graduate of the university, urged female students to find a husband while attending the university. Patton tells them that they should take advantage of the great pool of potential mates while attending the university. She points out that the girls will never (at least in her opinion) have the opportunity to find an intellectual equal who may share similar interests.
“Smart women can’t (shouldn’t) marry men who aren’t at least their intellectual equal. As Princeton women, we have almost priced ourselves out of the market. Simply put, there is a very limited population of men who are as smart or smarter than we are…And I say again — you will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who are worthy of you. Of course, once you graduate, you will meet men who are your intellectual equal — just not that many of them.”
Some women are upset because they think Patton should be advising female students to focus on school and in breaking that proverbial glass ceiling. Others find her comments to be elitist. Patton has defended her open letter in the news media. She unequivocally states that it is merely advice she is writing. She says people can do whatever they want. She is only writing based on her own life experience. While attending Princeton in the 70’s she only focused on her studies. She now regrets her decision. Furthermore, she thinks her advice if anything empowers women. She thinks her idea is feminist in nature. She believes that taking it upon oneself to find a suitable mate is a progressive decision.
This may surprise some people, but I kind of agree with her. I think it is smart to seek a partner while in college. When I was attending school I only focused on my studies. I never prioritized dating. A few years removed from graduating I’ve come to regret my decision. I think Patton has a point in that when you go to school you have a greater pool of possible mates. It’s not to say that only great individuals go to school. There are many individuals who are great who never went to college. I just think you may have a greater opportunity to meet someone with similar interests.
One would have to agree that you really will never encounter such a vast pool of potential spouses. I don’t think you should necessarily rush to marry while attending school, but I think it would be wise to at least date. I know I was in the minority in that I never dated, but I do know I am not the only one who made that decision.
Again, I would like to make a distinction between what Patton said and with what I advise. I don’t think anyone should feel pressured to get married or even seek a spouse while in school. I think it would just be a smart decision to at least be open to the possibility of seeking a long-term relationship. Don’t be afraid of those after-school activities, etc.
TAKE A RISK.
That’s my advice.
What do you think?
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Twitter: @adrakontaidis & @talkrealdebate
