Give your parents the gift of serenity. Tell them you’ve decided not to write that misery memoir after all.
Your editor doesn’t want expensive perfume. Why not write a bestselling series à la Harry Potter instead? It will cost you nothing and bring years of happiness.
Christmas is a time for embracing thine enemy. Wrap a litter of mastiffs in pretty gold tissue paper for his children.
Stressed over choosing the right gift for your teenagers? Try this nifty trick: place three or four large denomination bills in a festive envelope and watch their faces light up.
And, finally, in the rush to make everyone else happy, don’t forget to treat yourself! A liter of gin and that pretty snowflake tin full of mince pies makes a simple and cheering breakfast or midnight snack.
This piece first appeared on Meg Rosoff’s blog, found at megrosoff.co.uk