Humor Magazine

Super Bowl Prop Bets For 2014

By Christopher De Voss @chrisdevoss
credit: nypost.com

credit: nypost.com

What is a prop bet you ask?

Well, since you read the question above that asked you to ask me…I will tell you. A prop bet is a series of wages that take on other aspects of the game besides who wins and by how much. They can involve anything from the color of Gatorade dumped on the coach to the number of times a Budweiser commercial is shown.

They are very real and if you would like to take a quick flight to Las Vegas with me, I have pulled a list of some of my favorites:

  • Over/Under for number of times Peyton Manning says “Omaha” during the game: 27.5 times
  • 23% chance Michael Crabtree mentions Richard Sherman in a tweet during the game (Yes +300 | No -500)
  • 26% chance Knowshon Moreno cries during National Anthem (Yes +250 | No -400)
  • 31% chance it will snow during the game (Yes +200 | No -300)
  • 31% chance Erin Andrews will interview Richard Sherman live after the game (Yes +200 | No -300)
  • 54% chance lowest temperature anytime during game is OVER 28 degrees (Yes -140 | +100)
  • 56% chance temperature at kickoff OVER 32 degrees (Yes -150 | No +110)
  • Over/Under for number of people who will view the game: 112 million
  • Will the power go out in the stadium during the game: 20/1 against

Who will be seen first on TV after kickoff?

  • Erin Andrews (-140)
  • Pam Oliver (EVEN)

If Renée Fleming wears gloves when she starts singing the national anthem, what color will they be?

  • White (+275)
  • Black (EVEN)
  • Red (+500)
  • Any other color (+300)
credit: cbssports

credit: cbssports

How many times will Eli Manning be shown on TV during the game?

  • Over 1 1/2 (-200)
  • Under 1 1/2 (+150)

First Bruno Mars song . . .

  • Locked out of Heaven: -125
  • Treasure: 3/1
  • Grenade: 11/2
  • Just the Way You Are: 9/1
  • Gorilla: 10/1
  • Marry You: 12/1
  • The Lazy Song: 12/1
credit: redhotchilipeppers.com

credit: redhotchilipeppers.com

Will any member of the Red Hot Chili Peppers be shirtless during their performance?

  • Yes (-250)
  • No (+170)

MVP Speech will mention first . . .

  • Teammates: 2/1
  • God: 5/2
  • Fans: 5/1
  • Other Team: 7/1
  • Coach: 12/1
  • Family: 12/1
  • Owner: 25/1
  • None of Above: 4/1

Which region will have the higher local TV rating?

  • Denver (-150)
  • Seattle (+110)

In addition, I thought I would add a couple of my own to the mix:

The Number Of Times A Beer Is Spilled . . .

  • On the coffee table (12/1)
  • On the carpet (8/1)
  • On the couch (12/1)
  • On the TV (4/1)
  • On the dog (23/1)

The Number Of Chicken Wings Coughed Out Of One’s Mouth During An Exciting Moment Of The Game . . .

  • 24 million (7/1)
  • 10 million (13/1)
  • 240,000 (4/1)
  • 0 (long shot bet 200/1)

The Number Of Times The Phrase, “The Commercials Were Better Last Year” Is Heard . . .

  • 24 (12/1)
  • 89 (17/1)
  • 6 (56/1)
  • 10,000 (2/1)

The Number Of Times Family Members Dramatically Jump Up From The Couch After A Big Play With Their Arms Straight Up In The Air And Scream . . .

  • 18 (18/1)
  • 56 (3/1)
  • 2 (100/1)

The Number Of Times A Pulse Is Checked On 94 Year Old Grandma . . .

Before the Game:

  • 36 (4/1)
  • 42 (4/1)
  • 27 (4/1)
  • 58 (4/1)

During the Game:

  • 12 (45/1)
  • 3 (4/1)
  • 5 (67/1)
  • 1 (2/1)

Number Of Times Someone Suggests; “We Should Watch The Puppy Bowl” (As A Joke…Right…) . . .

  • 19 (2/1)
  • 26 (3/1)
  • 56 (5/1)
  • 30 (12/1)

Go Sports!

Feel free to make predictions in the comments below.

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