Life Coach Magazine

Start Your Own Traditions

By Gjosefsberg @gjosefsberg

Start Your Own TraditionsThose feet in the picture are mine.  They’re resting on the railing of our deck at the Albion River Inn.  We’re here to celebrate my wife’s birthday with a weekend stay at a wonderful bed and breakfast.  It’s not a fancy place, there are no spas, no swim up bars.  It’s cozy though, with a small restaurant that serves wonderful food and a little bar close by in Mendocino that’s not too loud and not too crowded, just the way we like it.

We drove here this morning, a 3 hour drive through San Francisco and the forests of the North Bay.  The views were breathtaking and the little towns we passed were picturesque without being cheesy.  In fact, that 3 hour drive turned into a 4 hour drive because we decided to take an hour break in a little town called Healdsburg and nap on the benches in their town square.

All in all, I love it up here.  It’s incredibly relaxing, something I don’t get to do too often.  I want to do this again, I want to make it a tradition.

Kids Hate Traditions Because They Don’t Feel Connected To Them

Growing up I hated traditions.  I disliked my Jewish heritage and didn’t really enjoy ceremonies like Passover or Hunnukah (except the food, I LOVED the food!).  I didn’t appreciate days like the Fourth of July or Memorial day and I had no idea why we would ever honor these traditions.  They felt old, out of place and out of touch.  I wanted nothing to do with them.

As I aged I realized that traditions were worthwhile in some cases but could only be appreciated if you were a part of them.  I didn’t appreciate Jewish traditions because I lacked belief, which is ok.  I didn’t appreciate American traditions like the Fourth of July because I didn’t understand what we were celebrating.  I didn’t feel a connection to these traditions and so they meant nothing to me.

My family didn’t have many traditions either, except possibly my weekly movie day with my father, and so I continued to view traditions as something useless, something like a dreary routine to be avoided by constantly trying out new things.  It was only when I became a man that I finally realized what traditions meant.

Traditions Remind Us Of Who We Are, While We Continue Growing And Changing

Traditions are the anchor to our boat.  Yes, they can weigh us down if we blindly follow them, but they can also provide us with a safe point, a place where we feel secure, a harbor from which to continue exploring.  I have several traditions now, like my weekly game night with my 5 closest friends, a tradition we’ve carried on for almost 7 years now.  These game nights are my safety zone, they’re the place I could feel at home, even when my life was in turmoil.  When all else broke, I always knew that weekly game night was something I could rely on.

Now that I’m married to Julie, we’re developing our own traditions.  Sure, we still explore and we still try out new things like flying to Charleston, SC on a whim after finding some free Southwest tickets but we love our traditions.  We love the walk on Saturday mornings to our favorite local restaurant where we almost always order the same thing because it’s a known thing.  Sure, after that walk we can figure out all sorts of new and exciting things to explore on a Saturday, but that walk is a tradition now, a thing that anchors us and our relationship.

We love our standard hike up in the hills of Point Reyes.  Sure we can and do explore other parks and we love discovering new places, but that hike is a familiar and beloved experience that we can enjoy on days where we feel like doing something old and familiar.  We know every step without needing a map.  We know exactly where the lake is if we want to swing on the rope and jump into the icy water.  We even know where that great burger place is on the way back home where we each order our favorites.  It’s a familiar joy, different than the joy of trying something new, but just as satisfying.

And yes, I’ve even developed an appreciation for non personal traditions.  Now that I’ve traveled the world, I have a greater understanding of what the United States truly means, and so the Fourth of July is more than just an opportunity to BBQ, it’s now a time when I appreciate the tradition of service, community and industry left for us by the founding fathers.   I feel apart of this tradition and it has great meaning to me.  Alas, I still have no faith and so I cannot truly appreciate Jewish traditions but that’s ok, some traditions fall by the way side as others are born.

A New Tradition Is Born

Which brings me to this weekend in Albion and to this wonderful hotel.  I love this place.  I love the solitude and the atmosphere.  I love the food and the people.  I love the idea of getting away for the weekend and I want to do this again and again.  Luckily, Julie’s birthday comes every year, which means I have an excuse to do this again and again.  In fact, I believe a new tradition was just born.

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