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Spring Has Sprung But I Still Have The Stupid Winter Blues

By Midlifemargaritas @mdlifemargarita

Spring Has Sprung But I Still Have The Stupid Winter Blues

It’s the first day of Spring and it’s rainy and 58 degrees where I am. They are calling for thunderstorms later, then snow/sleet in the morning. For. The. Love. Living in North Carolina is wonderful but you can actually have all four seasons in one day here. But that’s not my issue today.

Yes I  have issues. Lots of them. Don’t we all? But I have a question. Are people just idiots in general and it’s getting worse or am I just getting older and more cynical? Am I turning into my parents? I can’t decide what is worse, the fact that people are assholes and running loose in the streets or I am getting older and think the worst of everyone and see the worst in everyone. I roll my eyes so much everyday that I end up with shooting pains in my eye sockets. 

The worst are drivers. I talk on my phone in the car, hands free. I try not to if I can help it. But I don’t text or try to dial or answer emails while driving. Why not? Because it’s dangerous. Do I even have to say that? I was behind a taxi the other day that had his phone on his windshield. You would think that was for his GPS. But when I got closer, I realized it was FACEBOOK! He was scrolling it too. AND with a customer in the car. Why didn’t the customer complain? Because he was on his phone too! 

I find myself dodging people in traffic because they are swerving lanes and changing speeds. Not drunk or high, just on their phones! I actually saw someone on their iPad. Reading it while driving. You can’t miss that. You also can’t fix stupid. And all of that is just people in their cars. 

Not sure I want to get into people at the grocery store who think the fire lane in front is their personal valet service area. Leave their car running to go in and shop. BLOCKING THE ENTRANCE! Having to go around their car to get in the store! These same folks drive their carts like they do their cars. Blocking aisles and ignoring my ‘excuse me’ so I can get around them. I’ve taken to giving them one chance to move the cart before I full on go Danica Patrick on them and their carts. If they look at me with disgust that’s when I whisper, “wanna fight me?” as I sashay away…:)

Oh and people on their phones or Bluetooth while checking out at the store, food joint, dentist office etc. and they actually tell the person behind the counter to ‘hold on’ while they finish their call????????????? Are you kidding me?????????? Meanwhile I’m behind them praying to the sweet baby Jesus to keep me from committing murder right there in front of all the moms and babies! 

One last rant before I hit submit. Church people. I’m sorry but I have to do it. Ladies in church, check the back of your hair before you leave home. Make sure to brush that nest before you get to church and I have to sit behind you and stare at your nasty bird nest of a mess for the whole service. Stop wearing old lady perfume that makes me sneeze and cough the whole time and then you turn around and ask if I’m sick? I will be praying for you during the silent prayer period.

Also, turn off the cell phones in church. No one wants to hear that ring tone, ‘Who Let The Dogs Out’ or ‘I Like Big Butts’ just as the pastor says: “May The Lord Be With You”. That’s when I will look you dead in the face and say, “And Also With You”. I don’t mean to judge but da-um people, you leave me no choice!

So that’s my rant for this week. I am so sorry I unloaded all that on you. I think I need a vacation to a private island with bottomless margaritas. But that’d mean I have to fly on a plane with more stupid people. That is a rant for another day! 

Cheers Y’all!

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