When the temperatures are high, it is wonderful to relax in a refreshingly cool pool. However, not everyone has the luxury of a private pool in the backyard, which means community pools can get quite crowded around this time of year.
Fortunately, most people respect their fellow pool-goers and behave appropriately in the public space. Unfortunately, there is always at least one jerk at the pool who gets on everyone else's nerves.
To make sure you aren't the jerk at the pool, read the following hallmark pool jerk behaviors ― and never, ever do them.
When You Blast Your Music
I need you to think of three music genres you absolutely abhor; music that, if played anywhere in your vicinity, causes you to grind your teeth, clench your fists, and mutter incoherently about the quality of music these days. Now, I need you to realize that to some people, that reaction arises due to your favorite songs.
You do not have the authority to choose the background music in a public place; no one does. Thus, when you head to a community pool, you should leave your speakers at home, opting for personal headphones or no tunes at all. Otherwise, you'll be the jerk.
When You're a Space Hog
As a human made of matter, you must take up some space; that's an elemental rule of physics. However, in any public area, you are entitled to no more space than anyone else. Even if you are the first person at the pool ― even if you are expecting a huge party to join you later on ― it is inappropriate for you to commandeer four lounge chairs and an entire quadrant of the wading zone.
All the people around you wish they had more private pool space, but they know that the pool is for everyone to enjoy. That you don't realize that makes you the jerk.
When You Smoke Cigarettes
Smoking cigarettes has been outlawed in almost all public spaces in almost all cities in the U.S. However, even if tobacco is legal at your community pool, you should resist the urge to light up. The vast majority of Americans are non-smokers, and a high percentage of pool-goers are kids, which means smoking cigarettes is going to irritate some and endanger others.
Instead, you can carry some disposable e-cigs to curb cravings until you are in a more secluded smoking area. E-cigs and vaporizers exude water vapor, not noxious smoke, so you can control your habit without being the jerk.
When You Let Your Kids Run Amok
Your lovely little darlings can quickly become wet and wild monsters when they are around water. Running around the slippery pavement, splashing strangers, screaming, yelling, and making messes are just a few of the inappropriate manners many kids display when they are let loose at the community pool, and it is your job as their parent to teach them proper conduct.
In many cases, it is a matter of safety that they understand the correct ways to move about the pool area. Your love for your kids shouldn't excuse their behavior; if it does, you're the jerk.
When You Have Shocking Swimwear
It doesn't matter how hard you worked for your body. It doesn't matter that you can make your pecs dance or that your booty can take you up 5,000 stair steps without complaint. At the public pool, you need to cover up.
That's not to say you can't wear a cute swimsuit. Bikinis and shorts are okay, as long as they provide appropriate coverage and support for your private bits. Few people at the pool are impressed by how good you look in skimpy swimwear. Instead, they think you're the jerk.
When You Look Dirty
Swimming in the community pool is not the same as taking a shower. If you haven't bathed since the last time you took a dip, you probably shouldn't expect a warm welcome from other pool-goers. It's no secret that the public pool isn't exactly clean, but that doesn't mean swimmers want you to pollute the water with dirt and grime.
It is courteous to rinse off before you dive in, and you should take frequent breaks to the bathroom during your pool time. Then, at least you won't look like the jerk.
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