Rebecca Adams from The Huffington post recently did an interesting piece that discussed research that suggests that single people can be as happy as those who are coupled. While this may come as a surprise to some, not so much to others. After all, there are pros and cons to every lifestyle choice and having a partner VS going solo is no different.
Ms. Adams weaves several studies in her piece, such as a recent one out of the University of Auckland in New Zealand. Researchers actually did two studies that looked at both the short and long-term effects of one’s relationship status on their well-being. In the first one they had 187 undergraduate participants ranging in age from 19 to 54 years old. Participants in this study were a mix of singes and those in relationships. These participants were asked to provide feedback that measured their positive VS negative motivation for achieving goals. In other words, were they motivated to move towards goals through a negative (avoidance) VS positive (approach) attitude. They were also asked to rate how strongly they agreed with two positive statements about their happiness and satisfaction with their life. They used a 1-7 scale, every day, for 10 days.
The second study used data that had been gathered for two consecutive years for the New Zealand Attitudes and Values Study, which utilized over 4,000 participants ranging in age from 18 to 94. Again the sample contained participants who were single, dating, living with someone or married, and contained answers to the same questions asked in the first study that measured their avoidance and approach goals. This group was asked to rate their life satisfaction in terms of their standard of living, health, security and personal relationships. In other words, more pragmatic and specific than the general happiness rating the first group gave.
The findings showed that single participants listed as many avoidance VS satisfaction goals as those who were coupled. They cited a sense of freedom from the potential vulnerability to hurt and conflict that those in relationships are exposed to. Across the board, participants did report an increase in happiness when they were in a relationship. This one does make me wonder how truthful folks were about their desire to avoid the risks associated with loving someone.
Researchers did emphasize all the benefits of intimate relationships with friends, and family—and other research certainly points to how good those relationships are for us. However, the intimacy found with a partner is a unique kind of relationship that meets a very special need that many folks have. Yes, we can be single and happy and coupled and miserable—one doesn’t have to look far into either one to find many examples. My take has always been that if you are living a happy single life, you have a much greater probability of finding, attracting and having a happy and fulfilling coupled life. Just my unscientific conclusion.
