Lise, I hear you! It's so easy to feel drawn in by trends, styles, and that "Instagram-perfect" wardrobe you see everywhere. You're not alone in feeling this way. But here's the thing: chasing trends or building a wardrobe based on someone else's style criteria will only leave you feeling more disconnected from your personal style. Let's break this down and get you back on track!
1. Define Your Style Criteria
You mentioned that you know what looks good on you, but you still buy things that don't fit your style. This tells me that your style criteria might not be fully clear yet. When you don't have a defined set of rules for what works for you-based on your body shape, lifestyle, and personality-it's easy to feel tempted by every new trend or "must-have" item.
Start by asking yourself:- What makes me feel most confident?
- What styles, cuts, and colours do I feel best in?
- How does my lifestyle influence what I wear?
When you know your style criteria, it becomes easier to resist the pull of FOMO (fear of missing out). You'll be able to appreciate trends on others but know with certainty that they aren't for you. For instance, I love fit-and-flare dresses, but they don't work for my body shape. I've had to learn the hard way that no matter how beautiful they are, they're just not for me.
2. Stop Shopping for a "Dream Lifestyle"
I see this happen a lot-shopping for a lifestyle you wish you had, rather than the one you actually live. You might admire those polished, neutral wardrobes, but does that really reflect your everyday life? Be honest with yourself: do you have occasions to wear those chic, minimalist outfits in luxury fabrics? Or are you buying for an imagined future that doesn't align with your reality? Do the clothes you buy fit with the level of practicality you need? I love the idea of fancy frocks but I just don't have a fancy frock lifestyle!
I know that my lifestyle is overall smart casual, so I find clothes that are easy to wash and wear, that are practical, like denim, but ones that still have interest and detail like the style of this denim skirt along with the textural details in this knit top.
As much as I love the look of heels, they just aren't practical or comfortable for me to wear 99.9% of the time!
Take a close look at how you spend your time. If your daily life is more casual or active, that's where your wardrobe focus should be. By dressing for the life you have now, you'll stop accumulating clothes that never get worn.
3. Reframe Your Thinking: Appreciate Without Owning
This is a mindset shift that can save you a lot of heartache (and money!). When you see a gorgeous outfit or a trendy piece, instead of thinking, "I need that," try this: appreciate it as you would a piece of art in a gallery. You can admire it without feeling the need to take it home. It's not for your wardrobe, but it can still be something you enjoy looking at on others. This is one of the greatest things I enjoy as an image consultant, I get to play with clothing on others that don't work for me (body, colouring, lifestyle) and can appreciate them on others, but know that there would be no point in taking those pieces home with me as they just wouldn't work for me, my body, colouring and lifestyle.
Just because a trend looks great on someone else doesn't mean it needs to find its way into your closet. If it doesn't fit your personalised criteria, let it stay in the store!
4. Know Your Colour and Personality Needs
You mentioned feeling drawn to those neutral, minimalist wardrobes, but also getting bored with capsule collections. That's a big clue! You might be someone who thrives on variety and colour. Those all-neutral wardrobes work for some people, but not everyone. If your personality leans toward needing more options, a neutral wardrobe could feel limiting or uninspiring. If you have a high colour contrast too, neutrals are OK but really need to be worn with colours. The reason we call it personal style is that it's personal to you and needs to reflect and harmonise with both your physicality and your personality.
Maybe a wardrobe capsule is the right way to go for you because you love the simplicity and don't get bored wearing the same garments over and over, and in fact find it freeing. There is no right or wrong here, so it's important for you to figure out which way you lean!
And let's not forget the power of colour! Wearing the right colours not only makes you feel more vibrant, but it also ensures you stand out. Neutrals can sometimes cause you to blend in and feel forgotten. Research shows we remember colourful experiences 70% more than neutral ones, so wearing the right colours helps you make a lasting impression. I love wearing my signature colours as they always make me look healthy and harmonise with me.
5. Get Style Education That Lasts a Lifetime
One of the best investments you can make is in your style education. By fully understanding your body shape, your personality, your lifestyle needs, and your ideal colours, you can make informed decisions and stop wasting money on clothes that don't work for you. The truth is, the money you spend on the wrong clothes adds up quickly-and investing in style education saves you from making those expensive mistakes and over time will save you so much more money as well as time, energy and angst.
This is why I'm so passionate about helping women through my 7 Steps to Style program. It covers everything you need to know to confidently build a wardrobe that reflects you and makes getting dressed effortless. It's an investment in your future style and will save you from feeling overwhelmed, guilty, or frustrated with your clothes.
You don't have to have a wardrobe full of clothes you don't wear. By defining your style criteria, shopping for your real lifestyle, and resisting FOMO, you can create a wardrobe that serves you every day-without the guilt or waste. And if you need support in discovering what works for you, I'd love to help you through 7 Steps to Style. It's a comprehensive guide to building a wardrobe that makes you feel confident and empowered.
