Recently a reader asked me if " Is it perceived as more friendly and open to blend in with others and be more toned down or to go ahead and be more unique and not from here?"
This is an interesting question as there is no one right answer and really does come down to you and your personality.
Have you ever met someone who, for a reason that you perhaps didn't know, you didn't immediately trust? Or, have you ever met someone who said one thing but then did another?
People notice when you are being incongruent with your personality so having an understanding of who you are and what's important to you is key to expressing your style equally authentically.
Just because there is an unspoken dress code, such as when everybody is wearing their leggings doesn't mean you have to conform. In a nutshell, the main difference between fitting in and belonging is that you don't need anyone or anything else to give you a sense of belonging.
At my high school, I wore a uniform that made all students blend in and give us a sense of belonging to our school. But, every person, despite blending in with the uniform, is a unique and special individual and you could still see the differences in hair, face and grooming and even the way they wore their uniform. Now some people feel really happy to wear uniforms, it helps them feel like they are fitting in, whilst others find it constrictive and constraining and wish they didn't have to.
When you feel most comfortable, you will also be most confident which I wrote about here.
You are a unique and wonderful person and you do not need to wear the same uniform everybody else is wearing. People will be more attracted to the best version of you because you will come across as authentically confident.
So you have a few options...
Own It!
Claim your own style and wear the clothes that make you happy. There will be times when you need to be appropriate for the situation and occasion but dress in a way that makes you happy, wearing what you like. If you feel confident that will show on your face and through your body language. My style is mine, find your style and enjoy wearing what you love.
If you want to discover in-depth exactly how to express your personality through your clothing and accessories (find out why you do like certain styles of clothes, detail in clothing, textures, fabrics, prints and patterns), this is Step 1 of my 7 Steps to Style program and it alone will save you thousands of dollars over your lifetime in ill-advised purchases as you will really understand your style and be able to make better choices based on personality alone. Find out more about the program (and what the other steps are) here.
Adapt
If you don't feel okay wearing something different or if you feel really uncomfortable that you're standing out, you may want to see how you can be a little unique and blend in overall but still bring your personality through the use of colours and accessories.
I believe that personality is way more important in choosing clothes that you love, rather than just finding clothes that flatter your body shape, and your personality impacts every clothing and accessory choice you make.
There are seven different personality dressing styles and 18 colour palettes so while you might choose to wear the uniform of your community, you will wear the colours that best suit you. sense of belonging
If you don't know your personality colour palette, the first step is to take the simple personality colour quiz here. You might find that your colour personality tends to Classic - red, white, navy and black or you could find yourself attracted to Creative, where you try out all sorts of interesting mixes of colours, not just red, white and blue together.
Adjust
One of the ways you can appear approachable is by wearing clothes that have some softness to them or other Yin characteristics. Yin and Yang is the concept of receding and advancing ways of dressing. Outfits with more Yin elements will be softer and appear more welcoming.
Yin elements include:
- Relaxed knits rather than being structured such as a ponte jacket in a bright colour over a navy or black suit jacket
- Softer fabrics with an element of sheer
- Patterns with a natural or floral elements or small, dense, all over patterns.
- Colour combinations with low contrast or that are lighter in value
If you want to discover in-depth exactly how to express your personality through your clothing and accessories (find out why you do like certain styles of clothes, detail in clothing, textures, fabrics, prints and patterns), this is Step 1 of my 7 Steps to Style program and it alone will save you thousands of dollars over your lifetime in ill-advised purchases as you will really understand your style and be able to make better choices based on personality alone. Find out more about the program (and what the other steps are) here.
Recommended Reading
8 Tips on Adapting Your Style as Your Rules Change
10 Ways Personality Is More Important Than Body Shape When Choosing Flattering Clothes
9 Essential Steps for a Successful Wardrobe Transition
sense of belonging
