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One of the many debates of parenting. To give an allowance or not. Who’s to say what the right answer is? Ultimately, like everything in parenting we have to do what feels right for us and our family. Money might not be a great incentive for some. Or some might not like the message that paying an allowance sends. Or maybe you really need to drive home the idea of budgeting your money and deciding what is really important to you. I just can’t give you the answer to this question. I can only tell you of my experiences.
Allowance? Yay Or Nay?
I asked on my Facebook fan page for opinions on allowance. I expected it to be split for just the reasons I mentioned above too. I’m a little on the fence in all honesty about allowance.
We do not give our children an allowance now. That’s not to say that we didn’t. I tried paying for chores. It worked for maybe a week and I was back to fighting with them about doing their chores. Let me first say, I do not think an allowance should be given to children for things like picking up their own toys, making their bed, washing their own laundry/putting it away. That’s their responsibility as members of a household they should take care of their own belongings. It should be incentive enough to keep their things where they can be found when they need them and to have clean clothes that are not wrinkled. We pick up after ourselves and take care of our things and don’t expect the others in the house to do it.
The things I have/would pay for are things that the whole household contributes to. So washing and putting away the dishes, sweeping common areas (ie the kitchen, living room, hall, bathroom), vacuuming, mopping, setting the table, recycling, trash, you get the idea.
Now I’m all for the whole everyone should pitch in around the house and that might be part of why I don’t pay my kids, but I also feel like they need to learn the value of a dollar. And lately I have been frustrated with how chores are getting done. It’s being very rushed and not done correctly and no matter how many times I have shown them, we keep ending up back to the same old habits.
So I’m toying around with awarding them points for a job well done that they can “cash” in for something. I’m not entirely sure how this will play out. Maybe it will be a special lunch with mom or a family movie night or maybe I’ll allow them to “buy” from a store of trinkets I have put together with things that each of them really like (special snacks, craft things, matchbox cars, etc.). So it’s not an allowance per se, but a reward for a job well done and one where they could save up points for a bigger item or spend on something smaller, their choice. So I think in a way that could be a good way of teaching them how to budget a certain form of payment without necessarily having to pay an allowance in cash. Plus, I like the idea of also awarding them for things I would never in a million years pay them for like being nice to a sibling or sharing. Things that I want to recognize them for with more than just a thank you.
Things I Think Should Be Paid For No Matter What
Recently I have found myself struggling on the weekends. My husband works most weekends and I do too. While I work from home and can’t justify some form of daycare I have been becoming increasingly frustrated with the kids behavior while I’m trying to work. I find myself having to start and stop my time clock a lot which is aggravating to not complete what I’m trying to complete in a timely manner. So I have begun paying my two older girls to really take care of their little brother and sister. Almost pretend that I am not home and handle feeding them and cleaning up after them and in general keep them entertained and not destroying the rest of the house.
So why do I think they deserve to get paid for this? It’s quite simple really. They didn’t ask to have these younger siblings. I don’t feel it’s their responsibility to take care of their little siblings. It’s one thing when it’s for half an hour while I run to the school for something or the store or to pick someone up, but taking their weekend to keep their little siblings from bothering me while I work deserves compensation. So I pay them. And so far it’s working.
Chores Are Important
No matter what we should always teach our children chores. Whether you will give them an allowance or not, it’s important to devise a system which teaches them the most basic of tasks so when we do send them out on their own it’s not without the skills they need in life. Knowing how to wash dishes, sweep the floor, vacuum, clean the bathroom, and wash their own laundry are necessities. So whether you decide to pay them with cash or rewards or you just simply require them to do the work just because they are a member of the household who contributes to the mess that is up to you. But do make them do chores. Do make them earn whatever reward you’re offering. Do make them earn their keep in some way. It’s only going to make them a better adult. It doesn’t matter how you get them to do it, just so long as they are doing it.
Where do you stand on the whole allowance, yay or nay debate?
