I have been helping couples to plan their weddings in Central Park, New York since 2012. Over the years I’ve built up a really solid group of excellent people who provide services on the day. These might be the officiant, photographer, videographer, florist, musician, on-the-day co-ordinator, transport – that sort of thing.
If a couple come to me and ask if I can provide most of the people they need to make their wedding happen but they want to find their own photographer, for example, that’s fine with me. The agreement I will make with those couples is that I’ll make a clear plan with the couple but they must communicate directly with anyone that they book themselves. This is because I know all of the people that I work with regularly are great communicators, they respond quickly to queries, and they make sure that they full understand any requests. They’re reliable and they will be where I ask them to be on time on the wedding day and they are passionate and talented people. If couples book their own vendor then I have no idea what this person is like and I don’t want to be responsible for communicating everything to them in case they’re not quite up to the same standards.
Finding your own vendors from the vast choice of service providers that New York has to choose from is fine with me. Asking a friend to provide services is also fine with me, but in many cases, I’d advise against it. In some cases, I think it can work out fine.
New York State has recently begun allowing anyone to become a state registered officiant for a day. So, you can now have a friend or family member who has never officiated a wedding before perform your wedding. I think this may appeal to some couples because it will feel more personal if someone they know is marrying them, and also of course it keeps the costs down. In these cases, sometimes they want that person to write the ceremony and sometimes they want me to write the ceremony on their behalf.
I’ve attended some weddings where an inexperienced friend or family member has officiated the wedding. In some cases this person is as nervous or even more nervous than the couple! They realize that they are a little afraid of the responsibility of getting evrything right in front of lots of people. This doesn’t happen with our open, friendly and calming officiants who have performed many weddings. They know how to calm the couple about to make these special promises to each other, and they know how to settle a group of guests to listen. They know the right speed to go so everyone can follow what’s happening, they know where to stand, the right order for things to go in, where to put the rings, and they can make their voices carry in a busy public park.
We do see couples coming from Europe to New York to get married and just having a guest take some photos on their phone. I genuinely think that everyone should have the wedding that they want and we’re all different, with different priorities. But it does make me feel a bit sad when those couples don’t have at least a short time with a professional photographer. It’s a long way to travel to have this big important day in your life and not to have some really nice photos to hang on your wall or to show your grandchildren.
Some of our couples have brought along a friend or family member who is a professional photographer. I’ve seen couples who have come from out of state or out of the country and brought along someone who is familiar with a camera and used to taking wedding photos, but they’re not familiar with Central Park or New York City. The photographers that I work with know Central Park really well. There are certain spots where they can capture an iconic backdrop or off-the-beaten-track spots that will provide a pretty photo that a visitor just cannot appreciate. Our photographers also know how long it takes to get from one spot to another in Central Park and will make sure that you keep to a plan of timings that we’ve made. They also won’t let you get lost!
We have had couples ask if a guest can sing a song at the ceremony, and I think that’s really nice if the guest is happy to do it. Hoevere, if you are paying a professional musician then you won’t feel guilty asking them to learn a song that is special to you. A professional can play throughout the event and they won’t feel like they’re missing out on actually being present at your celebration, so it seems fine to me to ask a guest to perform music as a feature, rather than for the whole thing.
When it comes to providing flowers, there are a few options. Many of our visiting couples bring some silk flowers with them and then they can take them home again. I don’t think you can tell in photos that they’re fake so if you want to keep your flowers, then that’s a great idea. I can of course order fresh flowers for you in advance of the wedding and have them delivered to your address on your wedding day. This is both the most expensive and also the easiest option. If you have a very clear idea of what flowers and colors you’d like then this is the best option for you. If you just want a seasonal bouquet then you can pop into a florist yourself and order something. We’ve seen some brides make their own bouquets. This is OK if they keep it simple but nothing is ever going to look like a professional has made it if a professional hasn’t made it!
Lots of couples have asked about having an on-the-day co-ordinator on the day. When I explain that if they have a person doing this role they will charge by the hour. I advise them to think about whether you really need someone to perform this role, and what they might want them to do. In a lot of cases, especially with a small group, someone like this isn’t really needed.
Once we have agreed what you want to happen, you will get everyone involved’s contact details, including mine, and I am fully contactable by phone on the day. I will work out a detailed plan of timings and so on for the day we will agree where everyone should be and when. I have been working with my service providers for a while now and they know where to be and when to get there, nobody is late (except the couples, occasionally!) and everything runs well. The officiant secures your area and the photographer makes sure you don’t get lost and that you keep to the schedule that I work out with you. I can give you maps showing routes in and out of Central Park.
There have been times when the couple wants to the guests to go to a bar for a drink while they spend an hour or so taking photos. This is a time when a best man or other guest could take charge and be responsible for getting everyone to the bar. This is the sort of thing an on-the-day co-ordinator might do, but your guest will do it for free and I don’t think it’s a big deal to ask some trusted loved ones to have some small responsibilities. This is an example of when you can cut costs and use guests – as long as you choose the right people to do the job!
I do understand that each couple is different, and families can all look very different, and so this question is a very nuanced one. Your budget will effect your decisions, and also your vision of what you wedding day should look like. I’d love to hear what readers think in the comments below.
If you would like me to help you with planning your wedding in Central Park, either with or without the involvement of friends and family, visit our website. Keep updated with our news and see lots of beautiful photos of vow renewals and weddings in Central Park, follow us on Instagram, follow us on Facebook, follow us on TikTok, and follow us on Pinterest.
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