This tongue in cheek review is on Sand Sharks and will contain spoilers.
Tagline is rip off version of Jaws 2.
Routine over the top opening sequence to introduce the sharks in the sand as the victims as motor cross riders.
How does this film need 2 yes TWO as in more than ONE SCREENPLAY WRITERS?
Aqua Man’s side kick Sandy Power is in this film against villain Amanda Gore, well maybe not but they are character names in this film.
Cocky money grabbing lead character Jimmy Green as money is Green.
Brooke Hogan is playing a doctor, I think I laugh for five minutes before realizing Tara Reid was once one and didn’t a better job.
Stuck up lawyer things she is too good for the location being set, she is so going to die.
A stupid intern who gives away all the plans.
Shark attack leads to chaos but the town argues over whether to close the beach where the attack happens.
Rich guy puts bounty on sharks head.
Town drunk promises to catch the shark for $10,000.
Stereotypical hill billies try to catch shark in a rubber dingy proving the hunt will bring out all the idiots.
Beaches stay closed line while beach is filled with people.
Shark eats power cables destroying any contact with the outside world leaving everyone trapped on the island.
Power gets cut by shark because that is what all villains do.
Shark decides to just stalk Sandy on the beach rather than jump attack, well maybe it was just checking out Brooke.
Worst reaction to shark attack EVER.
Character named Sparky gets electrocuted, but blows up a sand shark.
Brooke Hogan goes to the scientific school previously attended by ark Wahlberg for Transformers of learn fancy words that make them sound smart but look stupid.
Just when they think everything is safe we have to deal with a new shark attack.
Shark kills lawyer, told you so.
Shark attacks the party killing hundreds
I love you on characters death bed cliché.
Scientist has super spray to lead sharks away.
Asshole gets chance to redeem himself.
Trap set that sounds like one of Freddie’s in Scooby Doo.
Beethoven music attracts sharks.
Blowing up sharks while having buckets of blood thrown on you.
It’s not over.
