Scripture & Snark.

Earlier today I sent a lighthearted yet snarky email. It was all in good fun & made my friend laugh. As I was considering snarkiness I stumbled upon the following definition on Urban Dictionary:

1. Snarkoleptic
One whose snarkiness regularly manifests itself so naturally and fluidly that snarky comments could be delivered even from the depths of beta sleep.

Truth be told, it made me chuckle and I even quipped about "having this disease."
But despite the fact that most of my snark is lighthearted, comical, and well meaning, there have definitely been times where it's gotten me into trouble. BIG TROUBLE.
I've said something that was intended as ironic or as a joke but it ended up offending or even worse wounding someone. These are the times when I abhor being a snarkoleptic, when I really begin to think about my words & humility.
And while I can honestly say that VERY rarely do I make remarks or comments that have the intention to wound, I am aware that it happens & it truly hurts my heart. As someone who preaches grace, I recognize that there are times when I don't practice what I preach.
I know this is true for everyone. I mean, we're human. Of course there are times in our lives where we'll emulate hypocrisy, judgment & cruelty. It is the result of the fall. It may not be in our character to do it often, but it does happen. But the fall is not an excuse for it to continue. If we are actively seeking God & have the desire to draw nearer to Him, we should expect to experience The Spirit's conviction at some point in our journeys.
With that in mind, I began to examine my heart & words and I started researching what God's word says. It turns out scripture says a lot about taming the tongue from topics like tolerance, gossip, lying, anger, slander, etc. But I couldn't really find where my snarkiness fit in to it all. I'm not saying I don't gossip or lie or that I'm always tolerant... but my negative, non-comical, offensive snarkiness rarely comes out in those moments.
So when does it appear??
Mostly in moments of detachment & insecurity. Moments when I'm resisting an emotion, when I'm uncomfortable or when I just want to escape. I can feel my heart-strings being pulled and the discomfort creeping in and instead of leaning into it, I snark. I make a sarcastic comment and once the floodgates open, the zings just keep pouring out.
I'm realizing more & more that it's a defense mechanism. It's a way of keeping people at arms-length. Is it a healthy way to cope with discomfort? I don't know yet, but the fact that it's bugging me, makes me think "No." Is it something that is seriously hindering my walk with God? I'm still not sure.
Suffice it to say, God has put it on my heart for reason & it's something I'm still examining. As I do, I'm praying for more awareness as it pertains to this issue. I hope that God will bring specifics to light and that He'll continue gently coaxing me down this path of being more honorable, humble, & gracious with my words.
"Ironic detachment makes me feel good because I can keep things at arms’ length. Caring about anything is just not cool, because nothing is really worthy of being called cool. When dates, parents, careers and God have failed us, it’s better to stay bemused on the outside, a nonchalant satellite in orbit, then to dig in where it’s messy. And so we josh on other people’s naiveté, clothing choices and faux pas’s from the anonymous foxhole of our living rooms, safely avoiding any true sentiment." - Jessica Misener