Dating Magazine

Rules of Dating?

By Nicelise
Rules of Dating?I'll admit it, I watch all of the Kardashian shows. They're funny and beautiful people, sort of an entertaining and envy-inducing experience when you watch the show. In the premier episode of "Kim and Kourtney Take New York" newly single Kim brought up a topic that I have pondered many times before.
She doesn't do the chasing nor the calling during courting. She doesn't call the guy or ask him out first.
In my experiences, many women share this traditional view when it comes to dating, including myself. Whether it's truly because you are a traditional person or because you're shy or afraid of rejection, many women tend to leave the ball in the man's court.
While this is the same thing I do, I was thinking about how many times I've been out and a guy caught my eye. Instead of seizing the day, I just wait for him to approach me and if he doesn't, then oh well. I think many 20something women think that approaching a guy can give the impression that she is aggressive. And they just don't have the courage or confidence to break the ice.
My best guy friend once told me that just walking up and sparking a conversation with the guy will not make you seem aggressive. Something else he told me struck a chord with me too. Guys can be shy or too intimidated to approach us too. Just like we don't want to approach them out of fear of rejection, guys don't want to be given the cold shoulder after mustering up to confidence to come over.
So let me get this straight, we're all single because we're too nervous to approach the opposite sex? We're missing out on the potential for at least a good conversation because we're afraid of getting rejected?
Sure, rejection is a shot to the ego, but isn't not getting approached by a person you're interested in sort of a shot to the ego too?
Is it better to have broken the ice and been rejected, than to never break the ice at all? To take the more proactive than passive road when it comes to meeting new people?
I know this is something I'm working on. As a reporter, I constantly have to walk up to total strangers and ask them personal and sometimes tough questions, yet I still have difficulties walking up to a guy and simply saying "Hi, I'm Nicole."
Let's all work on building up confidence and kicking shyness and the traditional "rules" to the curb.
xoxo Nickie
PS: Need some encouragement? Check out Rich Santos' blog on Marie Claire's website about the Five Characteristics that make a Strong Woman Sexy

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