Expat Magazine

Resisting The Urge to Help Everyone

By Expatmum @tonihargis
I'm sure a shrink would have a field day with me, but I am on a diet of sorts at the moment - resisting the urge to "help" everyone. It's probably a combo of being the oldest child and female which apparently makes us pleasers and goody two shoes types (although some would argue), but really, I need to have a word with myself. 
Resisting The Urge to Help Everyone


It's made ten times worse by people all over the Internet (particularly Facebook groups) taking the attitude that it's far easier to ask other people than to make the Herculean effort of doing a Google search themselves. Every other week a Brit asks how to get a British passport for their child who's born in the USA. In less time than it takes to type the question, you can type a Google search "British passports outside the UK" or something like that and it will take you to the exact place you need, complete with down-loadable forms, and the value-added benefit of no one voicing a completely made-up answer. 

Anyway, back to my diet. Normally (ie. last week) I would have gone to the government web site, found the exact page for children who are classed as British by Descent, and posted the link together with a comment about how easy my own experience was. It's not that I've gone all selfish and uncaring, but no matter how many people post the same advice, there are always ten more who chime in and post confirmation of said advice - so mine is not needed. 

Ditto with recipes. I know. I'm not even a great cook, but every so often someone (again usually on Brit in America FB groups) will ask about an ingredient they're looking for - and I go and look it up and post it. Really? I once replied "There's a lot of info out there if you do a Google search" and it wasn't well received. Apparently it sounded a touch passive-aggressive, which is (for once) not what I intended. But again, by the time you've typed the question and waited for responses, you could have done it yourself. 

So this post title is a bit of a lie - I'm not really going to stop helping people. I'm just going to sit back and ask myself do I really need that piece of chocolate they really need my expert (not expert) advice or can I trust other people to give it. 

Which is probably a control issue and yet another subject for discussion. 

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