Summer is now upon us. School is out, and the kids are at home 24/7. Unless, of course, you are one of the lucky parents who have the luxury of sending the kids to camp!
This week’s relationship tip: taking a break from the kids can have a positive effect on your marriage or relationship.
The breather you get for the few weeks your kids are away at camp is a good vacation from the year-round draining grind of parenting. Plus you get cute letters they write from camp asking for money, that you can treasure forever and show them when they get older.
Have you forgotten the perks of being an adult? How about being able to play tennis, drink cocktails, shop the summer bargains at the mall, watch a TV show other than a cartoon, and sleep in each morning?
Perhaps you are wiped out from schlepping kids to sports events, practices, and other school-related activities, not to mention the weekend jaunts to the mall just so they can hang out with their friends. I know you’ve heard the classic teen whine: “Take me to the mall; take me to my friend’s house; in fact, just take me anywhere.” When the kids are at camp, for a few peaceful days you do not have to get into the car at some ungodly hour in your bathrobe to pick up a kid, or to drop off a kid, when all you want to do is just relax.
Imagine the toll that parenting takes on your relationship. If you are one of the lucky parents who can let the kids go to camp, enjoy the time off and reap the peace and quiet. If you are not able to pay the price of a sleep-away camp, then enjoy the time the kids are involved in summer activities. Make it work for you.
Here is how.
- Instead of a date night, have a date “day.” Plan some time when the kids are occupied with summer camp or other summer activity to just be alone. Have a picnic, go swimming during the pool’s “adult swim,” watch a daytime movie, or just snuggle in bed and pretend you slept in. Be creative, and use the time to marvel at each other and count your blessings together.
- Find a hobby, just for the two of you, something that you never had time for and now you do, even it means using up some vacation time or playing hooky from work for a day. An example would be bird watching with the local bird club or attending a city park’s bird walk. Make some new friends.
- When the kids are away, you are not driven by a clock and calendar telling you where to be and when for each child’s activities. Take the time to enjoy having your morning coffee with each other and engaging in small “you” talk. Pretend you do not have children for an hour or two, and remember what it was like when you were together just as a couple.
Whatever you do, do it lovingly. Reclaim your time as “two,” and see how it feels again. It is just like taking a much-needed vacation. As Richard Dreyfuss said to his client, Bill Murray, in the 1991 movie, What About Bob? : “Take a vacation from your problems!” Well, why not take a vacation from your kids? Even just for a short while this summer, give your relationship a much-needed boost.
