Life Coach Magazine

Relationship Shopping

By Nicelise
Relationship ShoppingAsk any woman about what it's like looking for a dress for a special occasion.
It's torture.
Typically, you go to a million stores. Try on even more dresses. Nothing fits. The colors aren't right. You end up spending more than you planned on for a dress you are settling for. Then, you don't even look forward to putting that mediocre dress on for that special occasion. The dress you end up with is nothing like what you had pictured before the stressful shopping fiasco.
BUT, when you don't have a special occasion coming up, you undoubtedly see racks and racks of perfect dresses in your size that don't cost a fortune. When this happens, I usually end up buying one just in case.
This dress shopping dilemma reminds me of how people "look" for relationships. There are guys and girls alike that are actively looking for a relationship, i.e. internet dating, speed dating, matchmakers, blind dates, etc.
I've never agreed with nor understood the idea of looking for a relationship. I get the whole philosophy of being available (both physically and emotionally) and ready to be in a relationship, but the act of looking for a relationship leaves a lot of room for error in my mind. Like shopping for a special occasion dress, you can get stressed out that you're not finding anyone. You could settle for someone that might not be right for you.
Many people, myself included, have at one point wanted to only be single. Sure I would talk to guys at bars, but I wanted only freedom and singledom.
The two might not be the best.
Rather than looking for someone, I think the best approach is just mentally being available and open. Go with the flow. Don't totally rule out checking out the dress rack if you don't have a special occasion, so to speak. See where things go with the dress, or person, and maybe it will lead to a relationship, or maybe it won't. But at least you tried on the dress and can further narrow down what you like and don't like, what style works best for you and if you really need the dress in the first place.
"Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with." - Sex and the City
xoxo Nickie

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