Today I’d like to continue the neti neti theme. To recap from the previous post neti neti means “not this, not this”. Whatever we might attempt to say objectively concerning the nature of Awareness is not it.
This extends to emotions as well. When we say Awareness is not any-thing that means everything. Awareness, your natural state, is immune to any distinction you might impose upon it. Yet we really feel the reality of our emotions deep down in our guts. It’s hard to deny that they have any substantial concrete reality.
Emotions tend to color our experience of reality. If “I” am angry then my perspective on any given event will most likely lean towards negativity. Conversely if “I” am in love I will usually interpret occurrences in a benevolent way even when they are not the focal point of my love.
Not only that but when I am under the influence of a particular emotion my whole identity is hijacked by it. “I” am no longer Hanuman Dass who is a father, husband, etc. “I” am now this or that emotional state, and this state becomes who I am. Eventually an angry state will subside and then I’ll perhaps be a happy “me”. The thing is emotional states give an added wallop to the whole ego-trip. Emotions give a certain validity to the “you” you think you are. Try and convince yourself that your ego-self is a fiction, observe what emotion the mind lashes back with!
Emotions have both mental and physical effects. They bridge the gap so to speak between the mental sphere of experience and the physical. If you are experiencing anger all your thoughts are in some way angry or negativity prone. But at the same time your blood pressure rises along with your pulse and some people experience stomach discomfort or anxiety. Take a moment to consider all the ways different emotions affect your inner and your outer “self”.
What we are seeking to recognize here is that your emotions, powerful as they seem to be, are not really you. In my personal life I have been deeply effected by certain recurring emotions that might be called as a group depression or anxiety. I battled these emotions for years until I began to come to an understanding of what I really was as Awareness.
When emotions are seen to be states of consciousness rising and falling upon an ocean of manifestation they lose their sting. What I learned is that if I didn’t attempt to fight negative emotions or thoughts but allowed them to come into my field of experience and then let them just play out eventually they would fall away. I’m not saying that particular powerful emotions will just get bored with you and leave you alone. Don’t get me wrong, some states are really hard on you; consider how many people pay top dollar for psychotherapy these days!
What I am saying is that if you continue to investigate all the varying emotional states you drift through they will begin to reveal their true nature. Both positive and negative emotions are illusory manifestations of energy. They appear upon the surface of Awareness but always dissolve again into nothingness. When you begin to recognize that you are only Awareness you are enabled to simply witness the symphony of thoughts, emotions, feelings, and states as various notes dancing around doing their thing. There is an unsurpassed peace in dropping the attachment to emotional states.
You relax into the transparency of what you truly are. Joy arises and you say “Ah that’s nice!” But then a particular thought comes into view and sadness ensues, again you speak “Ah that’s nice as well!” Emotions, good or bad, are like little candy treats. Some you enjoy some you don’t. The point is they all contain the same sugary goodness! Behind all your emotions is the same Awareness, the same witness, the same Self.
Recognize what you are. See what lies behind emotions. Who is witnessing it all happen? Who is the Seer?
You are only Awareness. You are everything and everything is you.
