Radiation Therapy

So I went on weekend leave and now I'm back in hospital. I have started radiation therapy for chronic rejection. Yesterday I had a consultation with my dr and it was time to ask some questions, would I gain any lung function back? Unfortunately they don't think I will, I was extremely sad at this and although I'm not sure what my lung function is due to my collapsed lung know it was 36% when I came in and I have got significantly worse. I am very breathless on any exercise, walking around the hospital is ok as it's flat but any other kind of surface change, hill or stairs I'm gasping for breath. I use 02 when walking and I'm trying to keep myself fit and strong by doing squats, push ups, weights and lots of yoga stretches. It's hard work but I won't be beaten by this and the only way I can think to over come it is to battle through and remain strong and determined as ever.
My consultant said that what we were doing was trying to crack a egg with a hammer as it all we've got. I have to say it is extremely frustrating, my reply was 'but I did everything I could, I did everything right' you wonder why you? What did you do wrong? But the answer is nothing, it's one of those things and sometimes
no matter how hard you try luck just isn't on your side? It's a hard concept to get your head round because in so many ways I still feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Some where its like good luck and bad luck are fighting to get to me, one day one wins and I receive the greatest gift on earth, life, the next bad luck prevailed and gave me chronic rejection? I just don't know, it's the strange thoughts in my head that try to make sense out of life.
So once again, it's time to give up work and to concentrate on stabilising, hopefully once I'm stable I can go back or we will look at other options. I have received alot of support and I thank you all. Hoping my next blog will be some better news.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad