Dear Diary: These are very stressful times for us all. I was spooning up the last of my Froot Loops, when the Leningrad Iron Smelter Male Voice Choir rendition of Song of the Volga Boatmen floated from my iPresidentophone."Vladimir!" I said, for it was he. "Obamavich, I am not amused by your sending the bonehead Kerry to hold talks in Ukraine, an area that is historically Russian. I have made myself very clear that you are not to interfere in our domestic affairs."
"Whatcha goin' to do about it Vlad?" I asked "You're just bluffing as usual." I was following Sun Tzu's suggestion to annoy your enemy so that he concentrates on you rather than the battle. " Bluffing? said Putin. Get ready for a phone call from NORAD." Moments later a red phone rang. " Mr President sir, we have a red alert. The Russians have launched an ICBM. " Yikes! I expostulated " "Valerie, Joe, we're under attack. Get in to in my office ASAP."
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