A thing of the past? Beer drinkers. Photocredit: rjw1 http://www.flickr.com/photos/rjw1/1632452813/sizes/m/in/photostream/
What’s going on? Pulling a pint, or cracking open a tinny, was once Britain’s favourite pasttime. But now, alarming news has reached us: sales of ales have plummeted in the last few years. Is it because cocaine is now as cheap as chips?
- No more beer bellies. Beer sales have slumped, gasped Harry Wallop on The Daily Telegraph. There was a 9.8 percent drop in consumption of the nation’s favourite tipple – the most considerable drop since 1997 when records began. Beer sellers claim that unfair tax rates are doing the damage.
- Kiddie coke? Taxes? It’s not taxes, pooh-poohed Jeff Neumann on Gawker.com. The fact of the matter is “cocaine has never been cheaper!” In the UK we’ve been honking up more cocaine than our American cousins. Whilst a pint of ale costs, on average, £3.05, a line of coke can cost £1. It’s “child-friendly.”
Lines of cocaine ready to be snorted. Photo credit: Zxc
- Attack of the flesh-eating de-wormers. Be careful, though: there’s a new form of cocaine on the market. Cut with a de-worming drug used for dogs, “the mixture causes flesh eating disease in humans,” said News957.com.
- Cracking down on the cartels. This news comes as gang cartel members are jailed, reported The Mirror, and according to the UK Border Agency, a man has been charged with smuggling £80,000 worth of the white stuff into Britain.
- Sheila’s woes. It’s bad Down Under too: cocaine use in Australia soars, with usage of the drug by women in their twenties increasing by 60 per cent, cautioned Julie Robotham and Kate Hagan on The Age.
- Smoothy anyone? On Twitter, an Amy Winehouse fan had a different view: “COCAINE AND BEER SMOOTHIES.”
More on the demons!
- Elderly boozers? Stop them!
- Charlie Sheen!
- Coke saga ends, folk hero minted
