Progress Notes for Patient 540463, OBAMA, Barack, H.

4/2/14: Patient has a different set of stressors today. Apparently, he gave away the entire United States and all its national treasure to Vlad Putin yesterday. Fortunately, it was not Putin, but Joe Biden impersonating Putin as part of an April Fool's prank. I had hoped that restoring blankie, patient's comfort blanket would have a long-term calming effect on him. Alas, no. He is an incorrigible anxiety junkie. I think I am going to have to resort to a mild sedative again to get the moron  back to an approximate state of sanity. ---Dictated by S.H Rink, M.D.