Society Magazine

President Obama’s Failed D-Day Talking Points

Posted on the 06 June 2013 by Brutallyhonest @Ricksteroni

Guest posted by tim, The Godless Heathen

Over at Morgan's place, he linked to a piece about how General Dwight Eisenhower composed a message in case of the very real possibility that D-Day was a disaster. It read in part -

Our landings. . . have failed. . . and I have withdrawn the troops. My decision to attack at this time and place was based upon the best information available. The troops, the air and the Navy did all that bravery and devotion to duty could do. If any blame or fault attaches to the attempt it is mine alone.

So naturally it got me to thinking and commenting on what a President Obama contingency letter or ‘list of things to do’ would look like.

Edited, and expanded, from original comments -

  • Ah…let me be perfectly clear…ah…as I said before we…ah…attacked that…ah…this may…or may not ah…go very well…ah…
  • Go on vacation
  • Hold fundraiser and use defeat to solicit money for Democrats
  • In front of the families of the deceased and the caskets of the brave men who died in the battle, blame the defeat on an obscure book that six people bought two years ago and is now completely out of print. Do not mention the Germans
  • Blame failed policies of past administration for defeat
  • Blame Republicans in congress for defeat
  • Dramatically  fudge numbers downward of dead and wounded
  • Direct Attorney General to inform the country that any public discussion that may be considered derogatory to the people of Germany will not be tolerated and may be a violation of the law
  • Make speech stating how all the outstanding German inventions and accomplishments have contributed to our society. And how this defeat is a teachable moment about the United States’ long historic oppression of the peaceful Germanic people. And that we need to do a better job of reaching out with an extended hand and that we should listen instead of dictating to the kind and gentle people of Germany
  • Declare free healthcare for all of Germany and the axis powers
  • Make announcement that Dr. Joseph Mengele will be heading the newly created “Ethics in Medicine” review board
  • Give press conference, but don’t take any questions, about how I was totally against the attack and that I am laser focused, that I will not rest until I find out who is responsible for this defeat
  • Direct Sec. of State, at the inevitable congressional inquiry of failed attack, upon questioning to hostilely declare “What difference, at this point, does it make?”
  • Declare that anyone who dare questions my role in the defeat is a racist
  • Nine months after defeat, direct Press Secretary to state, when asked about failed attack, that “That was a long time ago.”
  • Use a barrage of scandals to obfuscate and deflect the nation’s attention away from the defeat
  • Start tapping phone lines of every American

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