The excitement of the engagement is just a small part of the overall picture of life, and although we play a big part in that small part, we often get men and women who come in for various reasons and they just aren’t happy during this time of post-engagement stress. They discuss how their fiancé isn’t attentive and being engaged isn’t what they thought and how planning the wedding isn’t nearly as exciting or fun as they envisioned.
The truth is, the engagement ring and slipping it on your finger is fun and staring at the sparkly diamond is great and lovely, but that is a very small part of the overall strategy of happily ever after. Keeping the spark alive during post-engagement stress is key to making it down the aisle so you can enjoy many years of wedded bliss, and we can attest to many couples who have not made it to the church on time, so we want to share some of our knowledge to help you keep the spark alive and keep that connection going with your soon to be spouse so you can start your new life out on the right foot and in step with each other.
Tips to Keeping The Spark Alive During Post-Engagement Stress
- Kiss in the Morning and kiss at night. It might seem like a very small gesture, and it doesn’t have to involve a huge make out session, but a kiss good morning and a kiss good night lets your man or woman know that you are thinking of them and that you notice they are there. That affection makes them happier, you happier and will decrease stress and tension.
- Hand holding and hugging. Don’t stop touching just because the ring in now in place. When couples come in to shop for rings, we notice that they are touching quite a bit. A hand on the arm or on a knee. We also see that when they come back for wedding bands, they are all business and don’t hardly look at each other. The touching should never stop. There is nothing I like more than when I see a couple in they’re 70’s sitting at a restaurant or walking down the street holding hands. It warms my heart and it will warm up yours as well if you continue to touch and hold hands during this stressful time, so keep touching.
- Appreciation and thank you goes a long way. Don’t say it with flowers or a nice meal; say it with words. I know that my wife is more responsive when I thank her for cooking dinner after we have both had a long day at work, then if I bring her flowers, and I know that I love it when she thanks me for the little things, such as changing a light bulb or taking out the trash. A thank you goes a long way to show that you notice the small things and relieves stress and helps keeps you in touch with each other during this time when you might not have as much time for each other.
- Take time out to listen. Take some time out for each other at the end of the day where you actually talk and listen. Unplug from your lives and hear what the other is saying. You will be amazed at how connected you will stay if you disconnect once a day from your life for each other. This will keep your communication open and you will never feel left out of each other’s lives.
- Find what works for you. Figuring out what works not just for you, but also for your partner is key to making it through this rough time of post-engagement stress. And, these are strategies that you can take with you through your whole marriage. Gary Chapman has a great book out called, The Five Love Languages, where he talks about how to figure out what your partner’s language is.
Remember, the wedding is just a ceremony, but these tips can take you through a lifetime of happiness and hopefully bliss, so start early during the post-engagement process and implement good practices because I want you to be that couple who is walking down the sidewalk holding hands in their 70’s.
