Soccer Magazine

Possibly the Best Match Report Ever Written

By Stuartnoel @theballisround

Northern Steve loves a game or two whenever I go up to visit him in the lowlands of Lincolnshire , but with no one to lead him astray the rest of the time he rarely gets to go to football.  My sister-in-law, SOCMF (Sister of Current Mrs Fuller), isn’t a “football lass”.  In fact the contempt she flicked at me when I got excited last year about a trip to Lincoln Moorlands Railways FC in the FA Cup just a few hundred yards away from her own front door was enough to have me hiding in the proverbial dug out for good.

But last week she surprised us all.  She willingly went to a football match. And just to show that she really does have a normal bone in her body, she actually quite liked it.  Well, that is what she told me.

Possibly the best match report ever written
“As me and (Northern) Steve haven’t been out for a few months I could hardly turn down a “date” with my husband.  The date turned out to be Lincoln Moorlands Railways versus Lincoln City in something called a “pre-season friendly”.  It was sold to me as a chance to catch up with some of our friends we hadn’t seen for a while.  Little did I realise that our friends were actually in opposition on the touchline (One of whom was Grant Brown who we interviewed here).

Steve knows how to treat a girl on a night out and he wasn’t shy about it, buy me a tea all to myself and a hotdog when we got to the ground, although I repaid him by spilling my onions all over his shoes.  True love never dies.

I haven’t got a clue who any of the players were because they didn’t have one of those big screen things we see on the TV.  They didn’t even have one of those magazine things, although that’s what Steve told me and he may have just have been too tight to buy one.

Possibly the best match report ever written
So you want a report?  Well here it is.  Moorlands were in yellow tops with blue shorts and Lincoln City were red and white striped tops and black shorts!! I always assumed they were called the Limps, but apparently it is the Imps which makes a bit more sense now. Two men took off their shirts and the Moorlands captain, number 9, was quite fit!! I think one team scored three goals and the other one scored one, but as they swapped sides at the break thing I have no idea what the final score was.”

So thanks for that SOCMF..I am sure we will all wait with baited breath for your next trip to football.

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