Family Magazine

Peaks and Valleys

By Blondie @heyblondieblog
Welcome to Day 4 of Getting My Groove Back!
If you are just joining me you can catch up here.
The first few days have been great. My head has been in the game and I have been motivated to get some things done. I've been excited about being organized.
Then it hits me like a Mac truck.
Is this another part of the grief process? I find myself having anxiety and trying to hold it together again. I thought I had jumped to a good point. It's only been two weeks; was I presumptious to think I could be coming into an okay state of mind? I've had prayer warriors praying for exactly that! But right now I can't focus on what I need to because I keep thinking about the baby I will not hold here on this earth.
Self doubt, guilt, frustrations, unhappiness. Why? What happened to cause this switch to flip? Satan snuck in the back door that I thought was closed. And he brought with him what he knows are some of my insecurities.
Get it together! I keep telling myself. I wanted this to be a good self improving month. It still can be that!
I get so caught up in not being at my ideal weight, not exercising enough, wanting that peice of Ms. Dol's pumpkin cheesecake here at work and not wanting to feel guilty for enjoying it. It is so easy to get down in a valley and let the you are not enough feelings take over.
Praying for God's peace to come and settle in my heart. And yours if you ever have similar thoughts.
Every day isn't going to be up on a peak kind of day. Praying for less valleys though!

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