Humor Magazine

Other Things Maya Angelou Didn’t Say, On A Stamp

By Christopher De Voss @chrisdevoss

Last year, noted author and poet Maya Angelou passed away. The United States Postal Service responded in the only way it could, by designing a stamp in tribute to her.

maya-stamp
Actually, a stamp isn’t the only way they could have responded. They also could have sent a nice card to her family because, after all, they are the Postal Service. And a card would have been nicer than what they did.

You see, they designed a lovely stamp for her, but there is a problem. The quote on the stamp isn’t something Maya Angelou said. I’d have thought finding a quote from Ms. Angelou would have been easy, she was a prolific author. Apparently it was harder for the Postal Service than I’d have thought.

So, knowing that the stamp will probably need redesigning, I thought I would submit a few suggestions for the United States Postal Service to consider. In the spirit of the original design, I’ve chosen to include quotes that could not be attributed to Ms. Angelou. Instead, I went with quotes from two of the great minds in American culture today – Charlie Sheen and Kanye West.

Boom

My first Maya Angelou stamp is designed around a quote from Charlie Sheen. It is rambling, confusing and dare I say, gnarly? Yes, I think that I dare.

(original stamp design by USPS)

(original stamp design by USPS)

Actually, the last two sentences are not impossible to imagine Maya Angelou saying. Before that, maybe not.

Shallow? Yeah.

We move over to Kanye West for my next stamp idea. Ms. Angelou was connected to the human condition. The plight of others moved her. Fashion? Maybe not as much.

Fortunately, Kanye is the opposite of her.

(original stamp design USPS)

(original stamp design USPS)

“Fashion breaks my heart.” Yeah, that’s all we’ve got to be concerned about.

Well, That’s Partly True

Charlie Sheen might have been channeling Maya Angelou, who could prove that she had poetry in her fingertips.

Alright, she couldn’t prove it literally, but figuratively? All day.

(original stamp design USPS)

(original stamp design USPS)

I suppose if Maya were going to be in the air, the safest place to be would be on a boat.

Oh, No She Didn’t…!

You know, nothing is more important than a person’s spirit and mind. Ok, and freedom. Safety is important. Not being imprisoned. Yeah.

(original design USPS)

(original design USPS)

Somehow I can’t imagine Ms. Angelou thumbing her nose at Nelson Mandela. Stranger things have happened though; someone gave Kanye a record deal.

Maybe it’s me, but if someone is worthy of tribute, aren’t they worthy of an accurate tribute?

This post grew out of an idea I had on my blog. Need to see this idea beaten to death? Come on over.


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