One mom told me about her strong willed daughter, Emily. She had learned that if she wanted Emily’s cooperation, she should give her plenty of control through things like choices. Whenever she just ordered Emily to do something, Emily found many creative ways to refuse to follow the order.
Even though she knew this was true, it took a lot more energy for her to guide Emily rather than just direct her. Some days she just didn’t have the patience or energy to do it so instead she gave Emily commands. Rarely did Emily go along peacefully obeying these commands.
Can you relate to this mom? I sure can! Whenever I’m stressed, my natural response is to give orders. It doesn’t work well but it sure feels like I’m in control at the time! Changing our natural response takes time and patience with ourselves.