I found a blog post on PaRANThood, called "The Quasi-Ellusive, Not-So-Mysterious.... SAHD." The short version, although you should read it because it's a fun read, is that stay-at-home-dads shouldn't be considered hot simply because they stay home with kids. According to the PaRANThood post, it's offensive to be smitten by the dad at the playground for two reasons. It's offensive to dads, because it lowers the bar of expectations. A man playing with his child is not a unicorn skating on a rainbow after all--he's just someone doing what needs to be done, trying to enjoy himself while doing it. And it's offensive to the playground moms, because really, we're not THAT hot, and also, LADIES, WAKE UP!
And before I realized the post was 6-months-old, I was compelled to leave a comment, which I will copy below.
See, the writer tells playground moms:
Try to remember our PRE-BABY, PRE-HUSBAND sensibilities . . . Now think of the guy you thought of at that time who was sooo absolutely, unbelievably HOT! . . . Now look at that SAHD that just walked in to the playground. Chances are he pales in comparison to that ideal of hotness that you just pictured your mind. A bit older, a bit more tired looking, and probably lacking the washboard fantasy abs you were drooling over in your mind.
Which is all true. So what's going here?
Well, I think it's something else. And here's a part of my comment from the PaRANThood blog, cut and pasted below. I'll be happy to know what anyone else is thinking. Are stay-at-home-dads "hot" because of low expectations, or because women actually remember their high expectations from their future?
I know I'm no Patrick Wilson, but I'm also not Kate Winslet's undies-sniffing husband. The question many women in the park ask is close to the one you want them to ask, but with a small difference. See, they don't think I'm hot because they forgot their pre-baby pre-husband sensibilities, but because at least subconsciously, they remember. They remember their expectations of their lives and of the way they imagined their future husbands to act with the children. The problem is not with me being unbearably hot, or with the park-moms being too easy on me--the problem is that they're too easy on their husbands, and it's only when they see me that they realize it.
