I have recently turned 24, I’ve gone to university for a couple
years, worked my ass off to get my diploma, and I make more money with
my tips than I would working fulltime as a legal assistant (what i
studied) at the lawfirms in my small town. ITS HORSE-CRAP.
Im still looking for a career job and in the meantime Im still working
at the irish pub ive been at for years. SO, with that said, I ran into
my ex boyfriend that I dated my senior year of highschool and whom
broke my heart.
Here are following snippets of the conversation I had with my ex whom
I will kindly refer to as *DICK NIPPLES
D.N. : “Oh hey… I didn’t know you worked here! Don’t worry,
I’ll give you a nice TIP” *cue the chortling from his
comrades.
*I look over at his followers* “You hear that? He wants to give YOU
just the tip”
Me-1 Dick Nipples -0
:::::
D.N. “What did I do to deserve this behaviour?”
Me: The real question is, what DIDNT you do to deserve this
behaviour?”
Me – 2 Dick Nipples – 0
I hoped that Dick Nipples got the message that I was less than
thrilled that he was stuck sitting in my section that happened to be
one of the only available tables at this pub on a busy Saturday night.
Dick nipples tried to diffuse the situation by behaving.
D.N. “ Hmm.. I don’t know what to order? Can you help me?”
Me: “…you are ordering pub food, you’ve been here plenty of
times and you know it all tastes like crap. Pick the thing that tastes
the least like crap. “
D.N. “Can you come back in a few minutes?”
Me: “really? You are ordering from a list of 5 appetizers. You’re
not shopping for car insurance. Just pick
one.”
Me-3 D.N. – Still Zero.
:::::
Dip shit friend: “daaaaanng mamacita. I like a waitress with
attitude”
Me: “ did your mama really teach you to treat people in the service
industry like that?”
Dipshit friend: “Don’t drag my momma into this!”
Dipshit friend #2 “AAAA SHIT SON! SHES TALKING BOUT YO MOMMA!
HAHAHA”
:::::
The worst part about all of this, is that Dick Nipples still doesn’t
get that as much as I tried to make him feel unwelcomed, he has taken
it as sexy banter, and instead of shooing away, he seems to “stop by
COINCIDENTALLY every Saturday night I work”
….Some People.
- Lizzie
