If you have read ‘Of Fries And Is It Worth It?’, you would remember that I have been wondering whether or not a guy was worth it.
You would also recall my sister cleverly making the comparison between fries and salapao – ‘Fries’ being someone who’s worth it, and ‘Salapao’ being someone who isn’t (sorry, salapao-lovers!)
Anyway, tonight I got my answer.
Salapao.
It’s actually the answer I knew all along. I just couldn’t bring myself to admit it.
There are still some unanswered questions in my mind though, like..
Why can’t I pull myself away?
Why do I keep trying to hold on to something that was never real?
Why do I keep making excuses for him?
Why do I keep apologizing when I have done nothing wrong?
Why do I allow myself to be treated in such a way?
Why do I keep hoping he would change?
Maybe one day I’ll be able to answer those questions.
But for now, as hard as it’s going to be, it’s time to let go.
I’d like to leave you with some very true and wise words which really helped open my eyes.
“Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful — you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.” – Daniell Koepe (via Internal Acceptance Movement)
