Debate Magazine

Of Beavers And Bullets

Posted on the 07 September 2011 by Mikeb302000

Know what I like best about Canada's national symbol, the beaver?

It's not imperial. Not for us the American eagle with its razor talons, the British bulldog with its gobful of teeth or the ballsy Gallic rooster that struts symbolically for France.

Canadians chose a docile rodent with buck teeth, a pot belly and a tail that looks like it was run over by a Zamboni. We could have opted for a ferocious wolf, a majestic moose, a mighty bison or a fearsome polar bear.

We went with the flabby furball that wouldn't harm a black fly.

Maybe that set the pattern for our provincial emblems because they're pretty bland and inoffensive too.

British Columbia has the Steller's Jay; Newfoundland and Labrador went for the Atlantic Puffin. For Ontario it's the Common Loon (perfect-what with having Ottawa and all) and New Brunswick stands behind the mighty Black Capped Chickadee.

I'm not sneering about this. I think it's positively endearing that Canadians chose non-threatening, peaceable symbols to represent their provinces. For our prickly cousins to the south, it's a little different. They go for state guns.

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Read the rest, it's hilarious and its true.

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