Humor Magazine

Now with More Facial-Hair Observance!

By Pearl

There will be a bit of re-posting from now until New Year's.  Just too much going on!  For instance, did you know that my first book, "I Was Raised to be A Lert" is now available on Smashwords?  Download it to your Nook, your iPad, your pc for just $3.99!  "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" will soon be available as well, and both will be accessible soon via Amazon!
I have a friend who can be relied upon to be honest with herself.
“I’ve got a feeling,” she said recently, rubbing her chin with the ends of her fingers, her eyes glazed and staring into the distance.
“Hairs. I’m going to be sprouting hairs somewhere on my face, and soon. I can just tell.”
“What, you get a tingly feeling, or what?”
“Something like that,” she said. “Ya weirdo.”
“You’re the one predicting hair growth,” I observed.
“Hmm,” she said, as if to concede a point. “I’ve got a theory.”
I waited. Mary’s theories are the stuff of legend.
“Hair Fairies.”
“Excuse me?”
“Hair Fairies,” she repeated. Her fingers ceased their exploratory trek across her chin. “Like the opposite of a Tooth Fairy. See, she doesn’t show up to take hairs away, she stops by to drop them off.”
“On your face.”
“And yours,” she said.
I felt my chin. “I don’t feel any,” I said.
“Give it time," she said thoughtfully. "The Hair Fairy usually comes at night, while you're sleeping.” She paused. “We should make a pact.”
I waited.
She waited.
I sighed. “OK. A pact. Regarding?”
“Stray hairs. If you see any on me, you’ll tell me, just like the spinach-on-the-teeth thing. And if I see any on you, I’ll tell you. Deal?”
Who can pass up that kind of deal?
We'll just add that to my resume.

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