Expat Magazine

Not Twisting, Or Bending. Really, I'm Not.

By Expatmum @tonihargis
So - I have one more week left of my stiff-as-a-board back surgery recovery program. No bending or twisting, and no lifting of anything over about 8 pounds. Every day I have every intention of following these rules; having had surgery before I know only too well a) how long it takes to let the body heal, and b) what happens when you think you're Super Woman for whom the rules are a mere suggestion. So I've been a good (but whiny) patient. 

The problem is though, because it's not particularly painful when I twist or bend, I get halfway through a maneuver and realize "Oh, poo, I'm twisting."Avoiding things like bending to empty the dishwasher are easy; I just don't do it, or ease gracefully down with a plié and stay there till the contents are safely on the bench. Then I yank myself up (still stiff as a board) to put them away. My thighs are in great shape, by the way. 

Bending over to pick things off the floor is a blindingly obvious one to avoid also. I have a grabber for that, and when I have either dropped it or left it in another room (90% of the time), I simply holler for the 12 year old or try to put my long knobbly toes to good use. (Not a good mental image, I warn you.) I am also now a bit of a planner. For example, instead of dumping my towel on the floor before stepping into the shower, I place it carefully on the shelf-thingy I have, and hope it doesn't bring everything crashing to the floor when I'm out of sight.  Similarly, my hairbrushes are no longer in the receptacle I have next to the sink, but precariously balanced next to the taps. (We have pedestal sinks, bought deliberately for their lack of surface area on which to pile stuff. Bad planning there.)

But it's the little things that catch me out. Like taking the 12 year old up to bed and realizing half way through leaning over to kiss him good night, that this is not allowed! Or when the dog greets me at the bottom of the stairs in the morning, lying on her back, legs akimbo, all ready for a belly rub, that trying to sit down next to her probably wouldn't meet with doctor's approval. 

So yes, one more week and then hopefully I will get the go-ahead to begin gentle exercising. I must admit I'm a tad apprehensive about this given the fact that four months ago I went from working out every other day to nothing. Zip. Nada. I am surprised there's muscle left in me to even work a corkscrew! God knows how long it will take me to get fit again - although to be honest, the bar wasn't very high on that one! 

I certainly won't be doing yoga any time soon. 
Not Twisting, or Bending. Really, I'm not.
Not that this was ever me. Who am I kidding.

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