Culture Magazine

Not Bog Standard – Central London's Public Conveniences

By Janeslondon

We often read that there are hardly any public conveniences in London these days. Campaigners complain that there are scant facilities available to us. We've lost our loos, they say. It's outrageous.

Not bog standard – Central London's public conveniences

Four years ago, most public conveniences were closed during the pandemic. But many of them were never to reopen, or they were available to us for only a short while before being locked up again, such as Westminster's Council's facilities opposite Madame Tussauds and in Broadwick Street, Soho (shown above). Information notices often told us in these instances thatthese facilities had been closed due to them being used for illicit purposes or abused/misused by revellers. 

Yet, just around the corner from Broadwick Street at the rear of Liberty's there is another pair subterranean conveniences, that remain open. They are well-designed, clean and lovely. Here's the interior of the Women's* loo in ice cream tones, the tiles depicting 1960's fashions to echo Carnaby Street's groovy heyday: 

Not bog standard – Central London's public conveniences
Not bog standard – Central London's public conveniences

I was there for at least ten minutes taking photos and no one else came down the stairs. My male friend checked out the men's toilets. He was the only person in there too. 

Not bog standard – Central London's public conveniences

I have returned whenever I am in the vicinity. I have only once seen other people in there, when I chatted to four Swedish girls last August. 

I suggest that the people who are campaigning for more public toilets have not experienced how under-used the existing ones are. It's a shame because Westminster, in particular, offers to us some delightful, facilities, all with bespoke tile art and differing color schemes.  

First, Covent Garden Piazza, accessible at the side of St Pauls:

Not bog standard – Central London's public conveniences
Not bog standard – Central London's public conveniences
Not bog standard – Central London's public conveniences

Next, Westminster Underground station/Whitehall:

Not bog standard – Central London's public conveniences
Not bog standard – Central London's public conveniences
Not bog standard – Central London's public conveniences
Not bog standard – Central London's public conveniences
Not bog standard – Central London's public conveniences

Similar tiles are now hidden from us within other Westminster toilets, such as at Kensington Gore when the wall tiles depict images of The Albert Hall etc, and, I'm guessing, within the inaccessible inconveniences at Hyde Park Corner too.

There are also some other examples still available to us in the form of marvelous Edwardian era lavatories which still retain their chunky Art Nouveau basins and heavy wooden doors. These can be found in the Hampstead area (West Hampstead below) and although perfectly amenable are always devoid of other people whenever I pop in. I discovered that the similar ones at King William Walk, Greenwich closed only a few years ago and I very much doubt they will ever open again.  

Not bog standard – Central London's public conveniences

It's clear to me that the public, perhaps specifically the British public, is reluctant to use these basement conveniences, perceiving them to be sleazy places, frequented by perverts and drug dealers. Having to descending into an underground space that isn't visible from the outside is also off-putting to most people, hence the masses prefer to use the facilities in nearby shops, bars and restaurants, which means that the council's well-maintained, clean and efficient public conveniences become under-used and subsequently abused and, because of they are secluded environments they then get used for the wrong reasons... and so the cycle begins again.  

On the flip side, there are some public toilets that are frequently in use during working hours. These can be found in zones that surround street markets such as in Portobello Road (below) and Camden Town where they have a visible attendance rate, therefore promoting the safety, popularity and convenience of the space beneath street level.

Not bog standard – Central London's public conveniences

*It's interesting how the male/female signage changes from site to site. For instance, at Carnaby Street it's Men/Women and at Camden it's Gentlemen/Ladies. 

There's a strange additional plural applied at Lincoln's Inn Square (above), something that I pointed out to one of the cabbies there because he asked why I was taking a photo of a toilet. But when I explained that the ladies loo is just LADIES not LADIESS, he just smiled inanely at me, in that 'avnt gotta clue wot yor on abaht luv' way!

Not bog standard – Central London's public conveniences

In a similar punctuational vein, there's a MENS LAVATORY at Gt Portland Street station (inaccessible):

Not bog standard – Central London's public conveniences
Not bog standard – Central London's public conveniences

The facility for the ladies (also inaccessible) is not marked as a lavatory. Ladies don't pee you see, they rest. And so must I. 


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