Starring: Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Ray Winstone, Emma Watson, Logan Lerman, Anthony Hopkins, Douglas Booth. With the voices of Nick Nolte and Frank Langella.
Directed By Darren Aronofsky
Noah is a dick. I’m sorry, but this review will contain spoilers. The scene where Noah is running to find his son Ham, and is given the chance to help a poor girl in a trap, and doesn’t help her is infuriating, considering Ham’s entire character arc is that he wants a wife before the flood comes. He finds this poor girl, trapped in a pile of dead bodies. Maybe that was a sign from God. Instead… Noah lets her die. He’s a strong guy, and could have opened that trap in time, and he didn’t. Fuck Noah.
In general, this is a very long mediation on religion, and the story of Noah in general. Darren Aronofsky likes films with an unusual direction in storytelling, and Noah is nothing if it isn’t long. And it felt long. I was thirty minutes in, thinking an hour had passed. Then the flood came, and I realized I had 45 minutes to go. I wasn’t a fan of much of Aronofsky’s earlier works. I started to have faith in him with The Wrestler and Black Swan, but Noah backtracks for me. Noah reminds me of The Fountain, and how long it was, and how it didn’t seem to have a point.
On the flip side, Noah has a point. A strong point. It beats you over the head with the religious implications of the script. Oh, and GIANT ROCK PEOPLE. How can we take a film seriously with GIANT ROCK PEOPLE building the Ark? I don’t care if it was in the Bible or not. You border on Transformers sillyness when you have large talking rock people battling an army of humans.
Just when you think Noah couldn’t get any longer, Noah starts to tell the creation story. Which we actually see play out. It’s like Aronofsky realized his film was too short for his liking, and inserted a scene where Noah would just talk for a long period of time.
This film is beautifully shot though. I have to say, other than the rock people, it looks great. The animals, all CGI, are well done. Oh, in the beginning, we were apparently glowing, faceless people. Adam and Eve were at least. It’s all wonderfully acted by the cast, who were given good dialog at least. Logan Lerman is probably the weakest link, as he doesn’t fit quite into the “period structure” of the dialect. He seems almost like he was transported from present time, like something out of A Kid In King Arthur’s Court.
Ray Winstone’s character makes an odd bit of sense in the film, even though he’s clearly the villain.
Aronofsky is reminding us that we destroyed the world once, and God punished us, and he might punish us again. It’s all very heavy handed. I suppose, come for the biblical aspects, stay for the special effects. I know I’m in the dissenting opinion on Noah, but I think it could have been better.
FINAL GRADE: C+
