Self Expression Magazine

My Mother Just Asked Permission To Take Over My Love Life

By Wheatish @wheatish

For old time’s sake.

So, just talking to my mother on the way back home from lab and she was telling me how she was chatting with her friend Sowmya. Since I picture message my mom every time I make an epic meal, she decided to share my pics with the friend. So then Sowmya Auntie is all, “Oho! Have you been looking for boys for her yet? I know some people. Just let me know.” And my mom said, “I don’t know, Sowmya, I don’t think we’re ready. I will ask her first and let you know.” 

One, I’m glad my mother is also not ready for me to get hitched. Two, I’m glad my mother thought to ask for my opinion, because not all Desi moms would.

Of course I give my mother license to do as she pleases and pray to her heart’s content because I’m not exactly reelin’ in any prizes on my own. Shiet, I’ll take the help. Plus, what’s the worst that could happen? (Note: this is how I find myself in unfortunate situations. Not thinking ahead.)

Anywhoo, let’s see what Sowmya Auntie can find me. Meanwhile, I will do my best in this new city. The only eligible option in my field of vision is being hounded already so I’m not anticipating making much progress with that. Should I still try? I dunno.

My mom concluded with, “It’s so sad how really pretty girls make poor, rash decisions when it comes to men. Look at Sridevi and Hema Malini, they married old men who already had families.”

So all the relationship advice my mother has chosen to give me in life thus far is “no married men or Muslims”. Solid advice, mother. Solid.


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