The funny thing about dreams is that the ones we longed for years ago are put on the back burner of our minds until they actually come to life. I know for me I am guilty of dreaming big dreams, and getting tired of waiting for them to play out. So I make up new ones. All the while forgetting how important my old ones really were. How vital they are to my destiny as a woman of God.
God places dreams inside our hearts, not to drag us along for the ride, but to take us on a journey with him. Often dreams fulfilled are tucked into a day that you thought to be normal in your mind. They’re hidden in the spilled milk and loads of laundry, the kisses goodnight and the basketball practices.
My daughters 4th birthday began around 9 am. Her sweet face greeted her father and I , as she rubbed my nose with hers to wake me up.
” I’m four now Momma. That means I can walk in Target and not ride in the cart. “
Cute statement, but also proves that Target is my children’s second home. We go there when we are sad. We go there when we are happy. We go there when we are crazy. We go there when we are breathing.
I decided that once my girls turned the big FOUR we would have a day just us two. Shopping and discussing styles, trying on trendy shoes and getting our toes painted. Of course we cannot exclude food, in which I love. We started out at a local diner, a fun spot for coffee, hash browns and waffles. Rhema enjoyed her chocolate milk as I inhaled my coffee. The next stop was a pedicure for her, while I watched and held her hand when the hot stones became a little to warm.
Watching her pick out the perfect shade of pink , I saw myself around age 13. Dreaming , and vowing that one day on my daughters 4th birthday we would do exactly what we were doing in that moment. Time stood still as a tear ran down my cheek. I had the daughter, my first daughter that I had dreamed about such a long time ago. I remember literally BEGGING God to give me a daughter.
I just had to make special memories with her. I just had to pour my heart and soul into making her a Godly woman. I just HAD to share with her my faults, and lessons I had learned along the way to make her a better woman than I. I just had to love her with such a love that no other person could. She was the daughter I dreamed of laying in my bed, awake after everyone else was asleep. I used to whisper to her things I wanted to tell her, and pray that I would meet her one day.
The fact is that I was dreaming of becoming a Mother far before I was ever a writer. Or even a wife. Being a Mother was a dream of mine , a dream that I had seemed to overlook living in it. Did I not once long for this daughter that I was toting around the department store?
This is a big deal. A big blessing. A big answer to prayer that I allowed to become a natural, expected part of my life.
She was very expected, but only in my faith in God to give her to me to love.
During our girls day out I learned more about the woman she is becoming than I ever have in just a day at home, among her siblings. There is a fierce compassion that I have never seen until today in her. As we passed a handicapped teenager on the toy aisle of her favorite toy store I saw Jesus in her eyes. The sounds the boy was making would have frightened most children, but she looked at him lovingly. She didn’t ask me one question as she passed by him. She smiled and waved at the boy and I knew she knew. I knew she knew of God’s love for him. I could see in her eyes she wanted healing for the boy. So under my breath I prayed for him, on behalf of my daughter.
The daughter whom I prayed for , basically begged for. She is here now. She is four. Is my dream fulfilled now?
Yes. Now I have to act like it.
