"Color Your Mood" it says.
Thank goodness, I say, since up until now my 5-year-old's personality was so muted and bland.
The indicator itself is along the back of a shiny silver Gecko. You know, like the one which sells discount insurance on television.
When she drapes the pendant over her wrist, or holds it in her hand, or squeezes it like an automobile compactor, it changes color.
Included with the lizard was a chart, decoding the color scheme to the person wearing this cold-blooded creature:
BLACK: Tense, Nervous, Harassed.
RED: Anxious, Nervous, Stressed.
ORANGE: Unsettled, Mixed emotions.
GREEN: Not under great stress.
LIGHT BLUE: Cool, Relaxed, Happy.
AQUA (it could be teal): Calm, At ease, Lovable.
DARK BLUE: Very happy.
Allow me to test the thing myself for a second (there's no indication how long this little Gila Monster needs to be held for an accurate reading, so I'll just give it a quick squeeze).
Dark blue. I'm apparently very happy.
Could be, both kids are in school; although they're coming home for lunch in half-an-hour. I'll have to check back with the chameleon while I'm trying to get my daughter to drink her milk.
As far as this Komodo Dragon reflecting her little moods, let's look closely at some of the possibilities:
Black: Harassed. The only people she may be harassed by are me or my wife. Pardon me if encouraging her to try an Edamame bean is harassment. If she accepted snow peas, cauliflower, sweet peas, broccoli, lettuce, zucchini, or sprouts we wouldn't be in this situation.
Red: Stressed. That's normal. Stress is the emotion you feel when playing with an umbrella ends with a handle jammed in your mouth and you can't vocalize consonants, so instead of 'Daddy' you are yelling: "aaaaaeeeeee!!!... AAAAAAAEEEEEEE!"
Orange: Mixed emotions. Ahhh. The beef stew of children's personalities. Take a little bit if everything and throw is in there. Any minute mom and dad could be faced with sadness, or love; or tears, or tantrums. This is the real meat and potatoes of parent/child relations: total unpredictability.
Green: Not under great stress. Honestly, this iguana should be green until the kid turns 22.
Light blue: Cool, relaxed, etc. The alligator is blue every movie night - as long as there's popcorn (and not the all-natural kind we've been trying to season with Mrs. Dash).
Aqua: Calm, Lovable. Calm? Please see 'light blue'. Lovable? By law, we must seek out the lovability in our children at all times. When we can't? That's what bedroom doors and time outs are for.
Dark blue: very happy. According to the chuckwalla, I was 'very happy' when I began this post. Now it is aqua along its center with a yellow perimeter...there's no yellow on the chart. What does that mean? It means she's home for lunch in 4 minutes, and I haven't even cleaned up from breakfast. I think yellow means "Life goes on, even while you blog. Get back to work, Dad." See? I can be moody, too.
