Holy. Fuck.
A handful of college students looking for a good time are thrown into a world of danger in this homage to the slasher film cycle of the 1970s and ’80s. Ben (Joel David Moore) has just been given his walking papers by his girlfriend and is deeply depressed. Needing a pick-me-up, Ben and his friend Marcus (Deon Richmond) head to New Orleans for Mardi Gras, and take in a “Haunted Swamp Tour,” with master of ceremonies Shawn (Parry Shen) guiding guests through a spooky patch of bayou country. Along the way, Ben and Marcus meet a pair of half-bright exotic dancers, Misty (Mercedes McNab) and Jenna (Joleigh Fioreavanti), as well as Marybeth (Tamara Feldman), a pretty girl who is secretive about her past. As they tour the swamp, Shawn tells his customers about the local legend of Victor Crowley, a deformed man who was taunted by the other children living near the swamp until he was nearly bludgeoned with an axe by his father while trying to open the door of their burning shack. While Ben and Marcus don’t think much of the story at first, it doesn’t take long before they have serious reason to believe Victor Crowley is still at large — and is looking to settle some old scores. Hatchet received its world premiere at the 2006 Tribeca Film Festival. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi
Hatchet is insane. I mean it is just downright insane in terms of the visceral carnage that splashes across the screen like a fresh arterial spray. Not so much an homage to the Red-Blooded American horror movie, but more of a slight satire on the 80s slasher movie. This is comical in terms of the over the top, cartoon violence that is the hallmark appeal of this movie. Gore porn at its finest and I have to say, while not shocking, it was hard to look away at the screen when you are witnessing carnage on the level of all the kills of the biggest horror/slasher movies of the past. I just could not believe the elevation this movie achieves in topping itself with each kill.
The gore and violent kills are really the only thing this movie has going for it. I wasn’t really focused on the back story or whatever created this hulking killing machine with a degree in creative killing. The big focus is more on what new ways can we display someone being ripped apart. That is the sole purpose for the existence of this movie, to revel in the blood and gore that was a trademark for gratuitous slasher films in the 80s. The characters are just cannon fodder for the behemoth killer to impale, rip apart, chop, sand, cut or whatever way he wants to off these people. The violence is just so over the top that becomes a violent cartoon, limiting the entire shock value you see.
I am curious in what sort of setting would you show this movie, since it isn’t a scary movie and more just a gloriously violent movie. It is great for the midnight,splatter fest crowd that just want that gory goodness and watching a beast just rip through people and see some spectacular looking kills. The blood flows like a geyser in this movie, enough to sate those that love pure splatter movies. Hell I keep thinking the people in the movie are just water balloons that explode at the slightest touch considering the massive amount of blood that puts blood banks to shame. For those that want scares, skip it. If you are just wanting a hyper-violent, gore fest, then you can’t go wrong with Hatchet.
