I fucking love this movie. One of Stallone’s finer films from the 80s, Cobra is the encapsulation of what 80s action, no filler, all killer films were all about. Who goes to see Stallone act? I sure as shit don’t as I am more interested in what watching him shoot a lot of people, all bad guys mind you. Cobra is just as cheesy as it can get with the one liners, empty dialog and a whole metric ton of killing. If you are a red blooded American male, get your cockles ready for Cobra action while you down a King Cobra Malt Liquor bottle and feed your pet Cobra some leftovers. COBRA!
Crime is the disease and Sylvester Stallone is the cure in Cobra, a high-octane rehash of the Clint Eastwood/Dirty Harry films, burnished to a 1980s action sheen. Stallone is Marion Cobretti, a cop called in when regular police methods have failed. Cobra is sent to get a cult of Charles Manson-like serial killers and to protect Ingrid (Brigitte Nielsen), a beautiful, statuesque witness who is set to testify against them. Cobra deposits Ingrid in an out-of-the-way town for safe-keeping, but a mole in the police department tips off the killers. The gang comes racing into town to get Ingrid, but Cobra is there waiting for them, ready to spring into action. ~ Paul Brenner, Rovi
When the tagline for this film is “Crime is the disease. Meet the cure.” you know if you are in for some pure, unfiltered 80s action. The film even opens up with a literal bang as Cobra does the job that them pussy cops are too afraid to do and he does it with style and class. Doesn’t matter if some shotgun wielding dude is turning the setting into swiss cheese, Cobra just sips himself a cold beer, on the job mind you, and eliminates the target with extreme prejudice. And that’s the best kind of prejudice.
Oh wait, did I mention that leads name is Marion Cobretti a.k.a Cobra? God damn I love the 80s era of filmmaking. Stallone delivers his lines with the passion that neanderthals have with early communication. Done more in the cyborg style of line delivery, he grunts, gazes and shoots to get his point across. Sure enough, he is a true, ultimate bad ass cause who wants to talk when you can shoot. Also, the guy drives a tank like 50 Merc Coupe. That’s his running and gunning car and it fucking rules.
I honestly don’t fully remember the plot line to this film as my memory is all haze filled from the gun smoke and trail of bodies that Cobra leaves behind. The opening is the shit and the final battle scene between Cobra and the axe gang dude is amazing as it is just about every 80s action film ending rolled into one fine cigar. It’s a ridiculous movie, one that offers up pure testosterone and nothing else. You want fine acting and compelling storytelling, then do watch a French film. If you want pure American muscle and testosterone, rent Cobra right now.
