Family Magazine

Mothering Along Side Each Other

By Rachel Rachelhagg @thehaggerty5


Before closing the basement door and burying my face in a load of laundry to scream I quietly said to my 6 year old son, ” Talk to Daddy about that buddy. I’ll be right back .”

The afternoon had lasted way longer than regular afternoons. I swear. Someone, meaning Adah had pooped in their swimmy diaper at the pool. Someone meaning Asher had poured out my entire bottle of new hairspray down the drain and replaced it with water. All natural, naturally.

The fights and the endless snack asking before dinner wore me out. The toddler at my feet asking to breast feed , when she had just done so 5 minutes before. If there was any possible way to detach my breasts and leave them on the living room rug for her nutrition and comfort, I would. I may be signing her up for ” Appies anonymous. “

While standing in the basement, alone I remembered a conversation I had with two close friends about community. During this conversation we were all three dishing about how hard our days were. How we needed more grace, more togetherness in our days. About how in the past mothers ” mothered” together in communities of women. They had constant support and endless advice at their disposal. They didn’t just go next door for a cup of flour, but they had the constant support of other mothers.

They worked together to prepare meals, and raise the children. Im certain it wasn’t easy, but they had constant companionship. Even when their husbands were away on business or working in the fields. They had each-other to bounce ideas off of and get encouragement when they felt like giving up.

Why did this stop?

The years passed and people went their separate ways. Families tended not to live together and people spaced out. I don’t disagree with how things are done now, but I’m learning the value of women helping other women. I’m seeing the dire need to NEED people.

We were designed to need companionship outside of our spouse. There I said it. My husband is my best friend but being around women empowers me. Watching wise women parent brings life to my dry soil. It’s vital we have a community of women in which we can trust, confide in and laugh with.

It’s been said that the days are long but the years are short. I know this is true when raising small children. I have to constantly remind myself to love these hard years. To kiss them more often and speak gentler. They are learning, as am I.

Life is so fast paced now. So many plans gather into our day and it’s easy to become overwhelmed. And forget thinking of other women right? You’re just trying to get dinner on the stove without a fight breaking out between siblings.

But what if we left room in our day to think of others? What if we sent an encouraging email to Jane because we noticed how frazzled she was at the pool on Tuesday. What if we chose consciously to notice other women around us, despite our frustrations or problems?

There’s been many a time I’ve gotten an encouraging email from a woman I am journeying through life with that changed my entire week. Just one thoughtful word can lift your spirits so quickly.

What if we had a free hand to help a Mother gather her pool toys or pick up groceries her children dropped out of her overstuffed grocery cart? What if we smiled bigger at the mother that had to put a few things back on the grocery belt because she couldn’t afford them. Even better what if we picked up the rest of her bill with love. If we could spare . What if we offered a few extra dollars to help her feed her family that week, instead of frowning. Sorry for her. Our eyes trying not to meet hers.

I’m challenging myself to look beyond my own life , which at the moment isn’t easy … To see mothers in need of some encouragement. A kind word or simple card can mean everything to someone thirsty for love and support.

Just the other week I had a conversation with a woman that admitted she didn’t have a community of close friends to open up to. My heart broke for her and for a moment I had it in my mind I could fix that for her. Surely I could set up play dates for her and arrange friendships. With tears streaming down my face I prayed for The Lord to bring her a community of women to love on her and lift her up.

Being a mother is the hardest job in the world. Surely The Lord didn’t design us to do this alone. No. He designed us to have women along every side of us, guiding our way and lighting our paths. Showing us which path is deadly and which ones bring life to our souls.

Together women are unstoppable the way they love. They love deeply and they nurture to the core of children that they love.

Let’s come along side a hurting mother this week . Encourage one another and love on a new Momma just learning how to parent after years of taking care of just herself. Let’s choose to love. Let’s choose to encourage.

Let’s put our differences in parenting aside, and just realize that we are all going for the same goal. We all have one big interest in mind.

To love our children well. To be loved well.

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