Humor Magazine

Missing Flappy Bird?

By Christopher De Voss @chrisdevoss


In case you have lived in a universe where no smart phone or internet exists in the last few months, Flappy Bird is  was a game where you guide this cute little pixelated bird through a series of  Mario Bros-esque pipes scoring points for each pipe you past. You move the bird up and down by tapping on it.  The more you tap the bird, the higher it goes as the pipes scroll past in varying lengths.

The Long Awkward Pause Office record is three set by Omawarisan.

The mystery of why Dong Nguyen pulled down his $50,000 dollar a day app is as puzzling as every episode of the TV show Lost. But none-the-less, the app is gone. Don’t worry, much like the evolution of the planet Earth, when one species dies, another rises to take it’s place. So too, does the internet replace…but in million-fold. Within mere seconds after Nguyen made his now famous announcement of removing the popular app from the internets, over 800 Flappy Bird clones rose up to take it’s place.

Unfortunately, this number is not exaggerated.

Here are a few unique contenders buying for your finger tapping pleasure:

Flappy Beard Hipster


Replacing the green pipes with Pabst Blue Ribbon cans and the bird with a bearded man in blue jeans, this version of the game will appeal to all Hipsters young and old. You can see them tapping away while they share their tapas and discuss the next art/music/speed crocheting festival.

Flying Bieber


What’s more fun than Justin Bieber at a four hour long deposition? Why tapping his little drunken and marijuana filled head to dodge the spotlights and microphones coming at him. However, we feel better obstacles for the Biebs to avoid would have been to replace these items with Selena Gomez and Usher.

Flappy Bert


This one is nice because it tweaks on the Flappy Bird formula ever so slightly. Instead of just tapping a Bert head through pipes, you tap a bird carrying a FULL sized Bert through a series of pipes. Revolutionary! Ground Breaking! Lawsuit Inspiring!



We are not sure, but this might be a cross between Iron Man and a bird. We do know that iron pants would be hard to sit in, as well as, would probably break your washing machine on laundry day…but then again, we maybe over thinking on this way too much.

Flappy Octopus


There are probably 400 Flappy Bird clones with different animals involved, but we included Flappy Octopus because the title alone brought up several hours worth of jokes…all sexual…so thank you Flappy Octopus for that. This brought way more joy to us than your actual Flappy Bird clone.

Tappy Nyan


Not everyone can poop rainbows, but that damn Nyan thing can. This Flappy Bird clone is a degree harder than most because you have to listen to the Nyan Cat theme song while you play it. We suggest muting the volume before attempting this version or suffer the earworm at your own risk.

Flappy Miley


Another celebrity version, except this one got it right with the hammers, the tongue sticking out, and the wrecking ball…and a wonderful nickname for Miley for when she gets older.

First Person Flappy


As if the game wasn’t hard enough, let’s change the perspective on it as we fly into the pipes head-on in a bloody mess of feathers, bones, and that white sunny side up egg looking  bird poop they always drop on newly washed cars.

Flappy MMO


Tired of only getting past pipe number two by yourself? Then why not watch 300 other people play at the same time. The best part? You learn other people suck at this game as well. Special shout out to the player that named his bird, Flappy Dickz.

You sir, are a genius.



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