Culture Magazine

Marriage IS About You

By Cilaw

The internet is wonderfully democratic. And like all democracies it occasionally reveals things that make me wish natural selection worked faster. Case in point: the blog “Marriage Isn’t For You” that attracted over 26 million views.
love you love me more
The post is to intellect what onions are to eyes: if you have any, it’ll make you weep. To spare you reading the waffle I’ll summarise:

On the eve of his wedding your man Seth Adam Smith goes out for a little man-to-man chitchat with Papa Smith. Who says: you don’t get married for you – marriage is about the person you marry (and babies).

Let me stop you right there SAS. If marriage isn’t about you then why are you marrying your high school sweetheart instead of, well, anyone else? If it doesn’t matter who you marry because it’s not about you, it’s about them then the only prerequisite for a life-partner is a pulse and a vagina (or penis). Anything more would be selfish!

The whole it doesn’t matter what who you marry because it’s about them is, to borrow a line from Dr Gonzo, “good advice – if you have shit for brains”. But then that shouldn’t come as a surprise since it was penned by some dopey Mormon kid (“it’s a hobby of mine,” SAS chirps. “Spirituality is the way in which I best understand the world”). Take marital advice from the adherent of a sect founded on bigamy (and that is notorious for near-Catholic levels of sexual abuse) at your own risk, I say

What makes me despair of the millions who thought boyo was on to something is this bit:

Some time ago, my wife showed me what it means to love selflessly. For many months, my heart had been hardening with a mixture of fear and resentment. …But instead of matching my selfishness, Kim did something beyond wonderful—she showed an outpouring of love. Laying aside all of the pain and aguish [sic] I had caused her, she lovingly took me in her arms and soothed my soul.

Now it all makes sense. Marriage is all about selfless giving as long as it is the other person (specifically the woman) doing the giving. That’s right, take Daddy’s advice, dump it on your bride then congratulate yourself on having such a loving, selfless wife. Jesus. What a prick.

“I promised my wife I would try to be better,” he bleats. Love that word “try”. Shouldn’t he be saying something like: “I will man up and practice the farcical nonsense I preach”?

Not only did millions miss that SAS a stonking-great smug-faced hypocrite hoist on the petard of his own badly-spelled blog, but they appear to have overlooked the real moral of this story:

Never trust anyone who claims to have no self-interest – especially not in a relationship. It is always a lie at some level (if only the biological) and it indicates a dangerous degree of delusion. You know where you stand with someone who has, and admits to, a normal, healthy degree of selfishness. But if you meet someone who claims their only interest is you – run like hell. They’re probably lying to you. They are definitely lying to themselves. Stick around and you’ll get caught in the chaos of their dishonesty – just like poor Kim.

NB: Apparently, SAS has a track record of being a douche. It’s in their wedding announcement: “2010 Seth forgot to write her… 2011 They had a few setbacks … and Kim ran away to San Francisco.” Next time, love. Run farther!

You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • The Watchmen Live At The Danforth Music Hall, Toronto

    Watchmen Live Danforth Music Hall, Toronto

    The Watchmen came to Toronto on Friday night, taking over The Danforth Music Hall and putting on a show to kick-off the weekend. It's been 30 years since The... Read more

    The 16 December 2018 by   Phjoshua
  • Cornstarch Christmas Ornaments

    Cornstarch Christmas Ornaments

    Since we moved to our new house it's pretty hard to find things. Lots of boxes are still packed and at a storage unit. We moved at Christmas last year so I... Read more

    The 16 December 2018 by   Kalamitykelli
  • Silverstein Live At The Opera House, Toronto

    Silverstein Live Opera House, Toronto

    Silverstein rolled into a hometown Toronto show Saturday night at The Opera House and was greeted by a sold-out crowd eagerly waiting to scream back every singl... Read more

    The 16 December 2018 by   Phjoshua
  • The Hedonistic Taster: Troon Vineyard

    Hedonistic Taster: Troon Vineyard

    The Hedonistic Taster Troon Vineyard – Applegate Valley, Oregon by L.M. Archer “Wine should not be regarded simply as a beverage, but as an art of living, a... Read more

    The 16 December 2018 by   L.m. Archer
  • George Bancroft: What a Star, What a Character!

    George Bancroft: What Star, Character!

    Big, blustery George Bancroft was in his mid-40s when he became a film star, breaking out in 1927 with a linchpin performance as mob boss "Bull Weed" in... Read more

    The 16 December 2018 by   Lady Eve
  • Vegetable Oils: What We Know and What We Don’t

    Vegetable Oils: What Know Don’t

    They're everywhere. Like a crude oil spill in the Gulf, vegetable oils - those slippery, modern elixirs - have seeped their way into all the nooks and crannies... Read more

    The 16 December 2018 by   Dietdoctor
  • Getting to Know the Neighbors

    A few days ago, the doorbell rang. When I asked who was there (the camera view wasn't showing anyone), a high voice asked, "Is Joseph come out play?""Joseph,"... Read more

    The 16 December 2018 by   Sherwoods