Love & Sex Magazine

Marriage Advice: How Can You Have a Loving Relationship?

By Barbarajpeters @CouplesAuthor

As many of you know who avidly read my blogs, I am passionate about helping people improve troubled relationships. Further, I enjoy helping people make good relationships even better. Wherever I go I talk to people; somehow the conversation moves to relationships and my passion gets ignited.  
The other day I was at the ice skating rink with my granddaughter, a place I frequent on a regular basis. I was talking with a lovely staff member about my soon to be released romance novel and her thirty-eight year marriage cropped up. As the conversation developed around the theme of loving relationships, she mentioned a statement her husband made to her recently.
He Said: “You never tried to change me, and I appreciate that.”
She Said: “I married you for who you are, not for who you could be.”
I Said: “Wow, can I use that for my blog?”
So with her permission, here it is. She hit the nail on the head: part of having a loving relationship is to love what we have. 
Trying to manipulate anyone is a set up for failure. We know this is true, but still somehow we try to change our partners. Of course the only person we even have a slight possibility to change is ourselves, and that is still no easy task. 
As Larry James says in his book, How To Really Love The One You’re With: “I will not try to change my love partner because the more I try to change her, the more likely she is to feel rejected and unloved, and therefore resistant to change. I need and have the same commitment from her. I believe that only when both partners are striving to be full and complete within themselves can love and happiness blossom. Change will only come when my love partner or I desire it.”
To have a loving relationship accept your partner, because no one is ever going to be perfect. Release yourself of the need to control all the small stuff. Concentrate on the things about yourself that you can change, and focus on the big picture. Look at the whole of your life, and where you are headed. Have a vision. If you want to travel that journey with someone else, and you think you’ve picked the right person, then you’re going to have to expect some give-and-take. Each of you will need room to breathe and grow. Value your spouse’s ability to hang in there with you, even when you make mistakes. Take your criticisms and replace them with compliments.
Finally, love freely, and let go of the reigns. The ride will be much smoother. 


You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Big Food Giants Manipulate Public Health Policy in China

    Food Giants Manipulate Public Health Policy China

    Coca-Cola is at it again. As soda sales decline in the United States and Europe, beverage companies look to emerging economies like China for growth. And, it... Read more

    The 15 January 2019 by   Dietdoctor
  • Jewellery for a Precious You

    Jewellery Precious

    Jewellery is always close to a woman’s heart. It completes her look and boost confidence. Considering the changing trends in jewellery fashion, it becomes... Read more

    The 15 January 2019 by   Dr.jenifer Sayyed
  • Rajshri Productions’ Next Is A Film On Friendship | Hum Chaar | Trailer

    Abhishek Dixit’s debut feature film Hum Chaar is a Bollywood film made under the banner of Rajshri’s film. Hum Chaar is written and directed by Abhishek Dixit. Read more

    The 15 January 2019 by   Themoviean
  • Saint Paul the First Hermit

    Saint Paul First Hermit

    Today is the feast day of Saint Paul the hermit. This is a sweet and delicate Oatmeal Bread topped with rolled oats and naturally sweetened with agave. Saint... Read more

    The 15 January 2019 by   Veronica46
  • Irupathiyonnaam Noottaandu | Teaser | Pranav Mohanlal | Arun Gopy

    Arun Gopy’s Irupathiyonnaam Noottaandu is an upcoming Malayalam action-drama feature film starring Pranav Mohanlal and Zaya David in the lead roles. Read more

    The 15 January 2019 by   Themoviean
  • A Year Of Body Positivity

    Year Body Positivity

    Last January, as I sat there on New Years eve all set to make the same old resolutions I've made year after year for as long as I can remember, I realised how... Read more

    The 15 January 2019 by   Sparklesandstretchmarks
  • Garden Bloggers Bloom Day – Jan 2019

    Garden Bloggers Bloom 2019

    Euphorbia rigidaWhen I went out to take the photos for this blog post I was surprised at how much was in flower dotted around the garden. Read more

    The 15 January 2019 by   Patientgardener