Family Magazine

Mama, It's Okay...

By A Happy Mum @A_Happy_Mum
Mama, it's okay...
Dear Mama,
You are the best Mama in the world, we mean it when we say it. We see how hard you work for our family, we see how exhausted you are from taking care of us, we see how your tears fall quietly and you wipe them off when things get a little too much to bear, we see how you try best to put on a smile so that you don't make us worry for you, we see how tough it gets when the chores are so demanding and your hands are never enough, we see how difficult it gets when Papa is often away and you have to face us around the clock, we see, we hear, we feel, we know and we understand it ain't easy being you.
That is why we hope you will know that when we say you are the best Mama, we don't expect you to be the perfect mum, if there is such a thing in the first place. Just like how we have our classic tantrums and extra whiny days, you have your bad moments too and you know what, it is TOTALLY okay. Don't beat yourself so much over the little things you do wrong because the truth is they don't bother us more than they bother you and us being kids means we forgive and forget easily. We don't mind and don't remember the 'bad' things you think you did but we do know how hard you try to be a good mom for us. You love us so much that it hurts you at times, you are willing to give up everything for us and you are the one who keeps our world spinning. That is the reason why, in our eyes, you will always be the best.
So Mama, please know that it's really okay and don't feel guilty over the things that don't matter the next day or things that only make you human. You are not a saint, you are not a robot, you are just our very ordinary yet somewhat extraordinary Mummy. Guilt is not an emotion we am familiar with so we don't you hanging out with it too often too, yeah?
******
It's okay that you decide to watch Netflix after we go to bed instead of catching up on your rest. We know you need your downtime and it's the only time you can enjoy some peace and quiet in the house. Even though it makes you more tired when you wake up in the morning, you always make sure we have our breakfasts and that we get to school on time. So Mama, it's really okay.
It's okay that you don't cook for us every day and that we need to eat out or have takeaways. We see how much effort goes into each simple meal you prepare and that cleaning up can be a real hassle. We know some days, you feel more tired than usual and you just don't have the motivation to cook. Anyway, we love dining out with you and a little more salt and flavouring isn't a big deal. So Mama, it's really okay.
It's okay that our house is messy on most, if not all, days. We know we contribute to the bulk of the mess and we don't expect you to clean up after us too. Yes, we know your constant nagging for us to learn to be responsible will do us good someday and we are aware that we need to do our part to help too, so please don't take it all upon yourself. It takes time and we are okay with living with unmopped floors, dirty windows and bedsheets which haven't been changed for weeks. So Mama, it's really okay.
It's okay that you don't have much time to teach us or do art and craft with us nowadays even though we know you earnestly wish to. Life was much easier when the number of kids was not more than your number of hands and you had more pockets of free time with us. You don't have to feel envious by seeing how some of the amazing mums out there seem to hold it all together and have time to teach, homeschool or craft with their kids. You teach us all about life and what it means to be a good person in your own ways and we don't ask you for more too. So Mama, it's really okay.
It's okay that we don't travel as much as before or that we don't go on long family vacations nowadays. We know that these holidays cost you and Papa a bomb and actually, we have never complained that you don't bring us to see more of the world. It was you who felt bad that as more kids came, the travels reduced but you know what, we are happy to go anywhere as long as we are together. Even a trip to Sentosa is good enough for us and means more than you know. So Mama, it's really okay. 

It's okay that you don't have much one-on-one time with us because we are always together and it's hard for you to find a caretaker so you can whizz one of us away for a quick date. It will likely get better when we get older and more independent but for now, let's just enjoy the time we have to spend together, especially during our mum-and-kids outings. We love being together with our siblings too (even though we get into fights and arguments so often). So Mama, it's really okay. 
It's okay that you can't be absolutely fair to us all the time, even if you try to. Like how only big sister has a scrapbook with her baby pictures, how little sister gets a massage from you every night on her scar, how didi gets to be breastfed for the longest period of time etc. It's also okay for you to ask us to give in sometimes just because you want the fighting to stop. Oh by the way, the bickering only serves to bond us closer to each other at the end of the day so don't worry so much about it, yeah? We promise to love and take care of each other, and we know that you try your best to be impartial and that your love for us is all the same. So Mama, it's really okay.
It's okay that you lose your cool at times and that you shout at us, reprimand us and punish us more than you intended to. We know it's hard to discipline young kids like us and even if we might talk back or refuse to listen to you, deep down in our hearts, we still know you did it for us. Sure, we don't like you to shout at us so much but we know that we are usually the root cause of your emotional turbulence and that we take turns to upset you. You know, it's okay to let it go, to tear, to cry, to bawl, to scream, to punch a pillow, to shout it out, to have an ice cream (or two), to walk away to calm yourself down. You are just like us, Mama, and we don't want you to bottle up all your negative emotions too. So Mama, it's really okay.

******

You see, Mama, no matter what you do, it doesn't change who you are and we know that you LOVEus with every breath you take and every beat of your heart. No matter how tough a day we've had together, how many wrong things we did or how many tears we've shed, we will always remember to hug and kiss each other good night and say "I love you". Because love is the one constant in our family and we want you to know that we love you so much, no matter what happens.

So yes Mama, you are more than enough, you are more than what you think you are and you will always be the best Mama in our hearts. We love you to the moon and back a million times.

With hugs and kisses,
Your adorable kids

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