Making healthy choices is key to a healthy emotional life
How are the choices you’re making affecting your life and relationships? Are you making sound, healthy choices beneficial to your well-being? Do they come from positive thoughts and do they contribute to a better quality of life for you and your partner?
Often our choices are so momentous that their results will create a totally different life for us. Consider young couples deciding to have a baby or to move far away from family and friends. Think about families who invite aging in-laws to live under their roof.
These situations will introduce new dynamics to relationships and create additional stress for a couple. When decisions of great magnitude are on the horizon try and give yourself the same advice you would give to someone you genuinely care about.
Recently I was working with a client who was faced with such a decision. Not long ago she was offered the opportunity for a better job with a higher salary. Her current job, however, allows flexibility and the ability to work from home one day a week. When in the office, she can leave early to attend to family matters or activities. Her boss loves her and she excels in her position. The commute is long, but she can arrive and leave when traffic is easiest.
The new job on the other hand, would not allow my client to work from home and she would be required to punch a clock. This position would be demanding and would often require a Saturday morning presence. It pays a higher salary, but the vacation package offered is less than the one now enjoyed. If my client were to take the new job, her commute would be easier and traffic would be no problem.
Either choice will have consequences for my client’s family, and will require thoughtful communication between her and her husband. The new job would require her husband to assume more child care and household tasks, but the salary would allow the family to enjoy a more comfortable lifestyle.
This couple certainly has much talking to do!
When making choices affecting your relationship, you might think about a few things:
- Consider the outcome you want. Who will be affected most by it?
- Can you apply the choice and expect it will lead to positive changes for everybody concerned?
- Have you discussed the scope of possible choices with your partner? Are you on the same page?
- Have you evaluated the long-term consequences your choices will have? How will others be affected by what you decide, positively and negatively?
- Is your choice made impulsively or with serious thought and evaluation?
- Are you aware of the implications your choices will have on family and friends?
- Does your choice involve others being compromised by your actions?
Making choices always involves risk. This sometimes creates angst and confusion. But deciding to take a more positive direction for your life will ultimately lead to less stress and increased happiness for everyone involved.
