Debate Magazine

Love Vs Religion

By Rockmefabulous @RockMeFabulous

Love vs Religion My big question is what is stronger love or religion? This is a very touchy subject but it's one I'm currently going through.You see about a year and a half ago I reconnected with an old school friend. We started talking on the phone every night about everything and then some and we just connected. It's hard to explain really, but the connection we shared was beyond anything I've ever experienced before. We always joke that I'm the female version of him and vice verse. We just have so many things in common, the way we think about things, the way we are with people are all the same. The only thing we have different is religion.
 He's a Jehovah Witness and I'm not really into the whole religion thing. Don't get me wrong I am spiritual and have a relationship with God. I pray all the time, I could be brushing my teeth, I pray, in the car I pray, in the grocery I pray.  But I'm just not religious. I grew up in a family where my mom is a Catholic, my dad was an Anglican and my grandmother was a Jehovah Witness, my brother in law is a Muslim so I've experienced a lot of religions and I know a lot about all of them. But personally I've never been serious about religion just my spirituality. But if I were to have a religion it would be Catholic.
Fast forward to last year when I reconnected with him  it didn't really matter what religion he was because I know I can respect and get along with anybody regardless of their religion. When we first started talking the main thing that attracted me to him was the fact that he was serious about his faith. Because even though I'm not religious I do want to be with someone that believes in God. So the fact that he was serious about his faith was a plus. Now I will admit that when I did find out he was a Jehovah Witness I was a little taken a back but I quickly got over it because he was just a great person and I wasn't going to let religion get between our friendship.
Somewhere along the line things evolved from being just friends to something more. At that point he informed me that he's not supposed to be dating outside the religion, it's something the congregation doesn't take lightly. I was told there are places we couldn't go together because someone from his congregation may see us and that would be bad. One day we were in the mall and someone did see us and it was explained that I was an old school friend that he met up with. So I just shrugged it off and was like whatever because this is not going to get serious anyway. (Long story that I'm  not going to explain) Or so I thought, because lo and behold we ended up falling in love. This wasn't some puppy love kinda thing this was a serious, I don't know what I'd do without you kinda love. So now if I wanted to be serious about our situation I needed to make a decision. Do I walk away from someone I feel is my soul mate because of our religious differences or do I push forward and possibly convert to his religion so we could be together?
Eventually I decided that I would start studying and see where it leads me. I don't have a problem with two consenting adults being in a relationship when they share different views on religion because I grew up in a family that was allowed to be free in choosing the religion they follow. My mom and dad were two different religions but yet still they were able to co exist and raise children together without a problem. So if they could do it why can't I? I always knew that if I were to make a child for someone of a different religion from me I would have no problem letting the kids grow up under the father's religion simply because my religion isn't that important so if the father's religion is important to him then our kids can be raised as such until they are old enough to decide for themselves. But the situation I am in, my religion plays a huge part in the rest of my life.Those of you that know me know that I'm a hopeless romantic so love plays a huge part in my life. The two main goals I want to achieve in life is becoming a wife and mother and I've always believed that with love anything is possible however this situation is making me second guess that because if that saying was true I wouldn't have to chose love or religion. I would be accepted for who I am.
So here I was studying this religion and my mind was just racing wondering if I was making the right decision. If I continued down this path I wouldn't be able to celebrate Christmas anymore: my favorite holiday in the world. I  like to be free, I don't really like being told what to do. I'm a Sagittarius so go figure. However I find myself making the choice to be a part of something that seems constricting. Something that makes you choose them or your friends or them or love. Is that something I really want to do?
I still don't know the answer to that but I have slowed down on the studying so I could get my mind right because right now I don't know if I'm falling out of love or out of religion...

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By confused
posted on 25 December at 12:47
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i do not want to lose him but i am not sure if i want to obey their rules because i want to be with him

By confused
posted on 25 December at 12:37
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hi rockmefabulous im so glad i read your blog.I, myself is experiencing the same thing. As in, it's almost the same what your story is.I never really thought that our relationship will get serious. I am a catholic, but shares the same views with you. on the other hand, my more than 2 yrs bf, is an Iglesia.. now, he's asking me to convert. i would like to know what happened to you. i hope for your response

By Anoniem
posted on 09 September at 15:53
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Thank you for sharing your story. I am currently experiencing the same, only i have no faith and she is a muslim.

I have been studying the religion for quit some time and i have found parts and pieces that conect to me, but not everything.

The problem is, i have a subconscience feeling that i have to become a muslim to keep the love of my life, (which i know she definitly is!). So it is like going through a maze with different exits, all a different outcomes, but with only one exit is there a light shining.

I feel so much love for this woman, but i just cant pretend i have that feeling in my heart for her God as i do for her. This is my struggle.