Love & Sex Magazine

Love Cocoon

By Juliez

Recently, whilst speaking to my best friend, I couldn’t help but wonder about the level of seriousness in her relationship. It really made me think about how mature a relationship should be at the age of 21. We are at two very different ends of the relationship spectrum; I, at 20 years old, have never been in a serious relationship, whereas she has been with the same person for roughly 3 years. As of late, I sense that there is a lot less fervor in the way that she talks about her relationship.

So I say that to say this: How young is too young to be in a relationship for multiple years? Hell, should it even matter when you find love? Obviously, my perspective is always going to come from that of a single person, but I often believe many young women my age are stunting their growth (by which I mean personally, emotionally and socially, amongst over things) by being in relationships.

At 21 years old, there should be this insatiable thirst to experience all things new in all aspects of your life. Let’s be honest here. At 17 or 18 you want nothing more than to be romantically involved with someone that you can go to the movies with, take juvenile pictures of you two doing kissy faces, and all the other things teenagers do in their formative years.

Fast forward to now (3 years later), in the space between teen and adult, and more likely than not a great deal of growth has occurred. Are you two still at the same place emotionally? Do you both still have the same life goals? Career goals? Shit, are you guys together due to comfort? Is that same adhesive that held you guys firmly together still intact or has time worn it away? I guess what I really want to know is if a relationship is like a cocoon or second skin that you shed and outgrow once you’ve reached a new plateau in your life. Are they malleable things that you have to shape, prod, and mold into what you ultimately want them to be? Should you have to endure, or should you walk away once you’ve realized that you’ve surpassed your partner (be it emotional or otherwise)? What do you do when you feel a sense of stagnation and lack of development?

These were just questions that weighed on my mind a bit, I guess. I obviously have no clue how to answer the aforementioned questions, so they’ll just be there to linger. Perhaps they will be things to consider once I find someone worth spending time with.

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