Y'all, things have been so wrong for so long. Relationships are jeezy when things are easy but bloody tough when life itself gets hard. So many times I've wondered if it was worth it - feeling shortchanged, struggling with who's in the wrong, trying to apply rationality to a relationship and coming up with no definitive answers. We're told that good things are worth fighting for, but the right things should come easily/naturally. Where is the line between clinging to the Titanic, and being a fairweather partner unwilling to stick it out through the bad?
(I wish life came with a rulebook. I've come to realise this is one of those decisions you have to make for yourself on an individual basis.)
As you read this, we should be up north for a wedding and spending the weekend away from home. I wasn't sure we'd make it to this day, but we have. What doesn't break you makes you stronger.
On that note, I want to share a couple of posts on brutal honesty:
On letting your guard downAnd a reminder that no couple is perfectIt's easier to hide behind a good story. It's easier to crop things and filter things and pretend you are holding the world together all on your own. It's easier to get validation from "likes" instead of hard conversations. We live in a world where slipping out the back door, quietly and unnoticeably, is easier than it used to be. We have more stuff to hide behind than ever before. More password-protected caves to store our identities inside of.
It all boils down to love and honesty and humility. It doesn't always have to come in that order. Love to fill in the spaces. Honesty to sew up the gaps. Humility to keep us coming back to one another, more human than yesterday and more flawed than tomorrow will allow.
There's something really lovely about finally being flawed, and seen, and hopeful.
When we start to look up to people, we don't do it because we think they're perfect. We do it because we like them, and we admire them. But then we get lost, and we end up comparing ourselves, and finding ourselves wanting-completely without evidence.
The rest of this week's links
Danielle and I are in totally the same boat on this - we even work in the same field - just swap Toronto for Auckland. Will we ever own a home?!
Work-from-home days are a lot cheaper for me now that unlimited broadband packages finally hit the market. But still as Abby points out, there are a few other sneaky costs to consider...
Change is hard. Sometimes shit just happens. Tonya wrote a great post on getting through these growing pains
Does 'fake it till you make it' really work as a career strategy? Sam argues that it doesn't
And I think we could all use a reminder from time to time that you're not doing life wrong. Really.
